English literature -- Early modern, 1500-1700; English wit and humor; Great Britain -- Civilization -- 17th century -- Literary collections
[67.] Mr. French the King's Fisher, beeing a Widower, married a young
woman, and shortly died, on whom one made this distich.
By fish hee liv'd, by fish hee thriv'd,
He touched y^e flesh, and so hee died.
[103.] An Alderman of _Norwich_, having a Maid servant Married
from his House, went two or three Years after to see her, and ask'd
(amongst other things) how many Children she had? Truly Sir, says she,
none. O Lord, replys he, what should be the reason of that? I don't
know, says the Woman. Alas! adds the Old Fellow, now I remember me,
your Mother had none.
[105.] After a while _Scogin_ came to London, hee married a young
woman, taking her for a maid, as other men doe. At last he thought to
prove his wife, and fained himselfe sicke. Oh good wife, saies he, I
will shew you a thing, and if you will promise me to conceale it. She
said, Sir, you may tell mee what you will, I were worse than accursed,
if I should disclose your counsell: O wife, said _Scogin_, I had a
great pang to day in my sicknesse, for I did parbrake,[F. 230] and
cast out a Crow. A Crow? said shee. Yea, said _Scogin_, God helpe
me. Be of good comfort said she, you shall recover and doe well. Well
wife, said _Scogin_, goe to Church and pray for me: shee went to the
Church, and by & by one of her gossips met with her and asked how her
husband did. I wis,[F. 231] said she, a sore sick man he is, and like
to die, for there is an evill signe and token in him. What is that,
Gossip? said shee. Nay, by gisse,[F. 232] I will not tell it to any
man alive. What, said the woman, you may tell me, for I will never
bewray your counsell. By gisse, said _Scogin's_ wife, if I wist
that you wold keep my counsel, I wold tel you. Then said the woman,
whatsoever you doe tell, I will lay it dead under my feet. Oh, said
_Scogins_ wife, my husband parbraked two Crowes. Jesus, said the
woman, I never heard of such a thing. This woman as she did meet
with another gossip of hers, shewed that _Scogin_ had parbraked three
Crowes. So it went on from one gossip to another, that ere Mattens
were finished, all the parish knew that _Scogin_ had parbraked twenty
Crowes. And when the Priest was ready to goe into the Pulpit, one came
to request him and all the Parish to pray for _Scogin_, for he had
parbraked twenty Crowes. The Priest blessed him and said to the
Parishioners, I doe pray you pray for Scogin, for he is in perill
of his life, and hath parbraked 21 Crowes. By and by one went to
_Scogin_, and said, Sir, is it as it is spoken in the Church of you?
What is that, said _Scogin_. The Priest said in the Pulpit that you
parbraked 21 Crowes. Said _Scogin_, what a lie is this? By & by the
bels were told for sacring, and _Scogin_ hied him to Church, lustily
and merry, and when the men and women did see him in the Church, they
looked upon one another, and marvelled of this matter. After Masse,
_Scogin_ asked what were they that they should bring such a tale upon
him.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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