[17.] King James keeping his Court at _Theobalds_,[F. 251] in a time of some contagion, divers Constables with their watchmen were set at several places to hinder the concourse of people from flocking thither, without some necessary occasion: Amongst others, one Gentleman (being somewhat in the Garb of a Serving man) was examined what Lord he belonged unto? To which he readily replyed, _To the Lord Jehovah_: which words being beyond the Constables understanding, he asked his Watchmen, if they knew any such Lord? They replyed No--: However the Constable being unwilling to give distast, said, Well, let him pass, notwithstanding; _I believe it is some Scottish Lord or other_. [Footnote 251: Is in the parish of Cheshunt, co. Hertford. Was originally the seat of Lord Burleigh, whom Elizabeth frequently visited. It was used as a hunting lodge by James I., and Charles I. often resided there. William III. gave it to his friend Bentinck, Earl of Portland. In 1765 the remains of the old palace were pulled down, and the new mansion is now the seat of Sir Henry Meux, Bart.] [26.] A Gentleman having drank very hard at the Kings Head Tavern, came Reeling out up _Chancery Lane_, and chanced to Reel within the Rails of the Pump, and kept his motion round so long that he was tired; whereupon, leaning on the Rail he askt one that passed by, where he was; he told him over against the _Chancery_. I thought so (says he) and thats the Reason I think I shall never get out of this place. [94.] A Welchman that had one of his own Countrey men waiting upon him, went to see a Comedy, and drawing out a Purse of gold and silver at the door, was espied by a Cut purse and dog'd, who seated himself close by him, his servant having all this while a careful eye towards his Master, and jealous of the Cut purse, so that whilest his Master was minding his sport, the Cheater got all his gold and silver out of his pocket, and was about to be gone. The little Welchman's blood rising at it, presently drew out his knife, and cut off his ear, which made the fellow startle, and troubled with the smart thereof, ask't what he meant by it? To whom the Welchman replied, shewing him his ear in his hand, No great harm friend, onely give hur Master hur purse, and I will give hur hur ear. [105.] _Scogin_ waxing sicker and sicker, his friends advertised him to make his Testament, and to shew where he would lye after hee was dead: Friends, said _Scogin_, when I came into this World, I brought nothing with me, and when I shall depart out of this world, I shall take nothing away but a sheet; take you the sheet, and let mee have the beginning againe naked. And if you cannot doe this for me, I pray you that I may be buried at the East side of Westminster, under one of the spouts of the leads, for I have ever loved good drinke all the dayes of my life, and there was he buried.