[8.] A seaman coming before the Judges of the Admiralty for admittance into office in a ship bound for the _Indies_, was by one of the Judges much sleighted, as an insufficient person for that office which he sought for to acquire; till the Judge telling him that he believed that he could not say the points of his Compass; the Seaman answered, better than he could say his _Pater Noster_: The Judge replyed, that he would wager twenty shillings with him of that; so the Seaman taking him up, it came to trial, and the Seaman began and said all the points of his Compass very exactly; the Judge likewise said his _Pater Noster_, and when he had finished it, he required the wager according to the agreement, because the Seaman was to say his Compass better than he his _Pater Noster_, which he had not performed: nay hold, quoth the Sea man, the wager is not finished, for I have but half done; and so he immediately said his Compass backward very exactly, which the Judge failing of in his _Pater Noster_, the Seaman carried away the prize. A Grave there was made [12.] For one _Aylet_, he said The Bell for him then did toul; But you lye like a Knave, It is not a Grave, But only an Aylet hole. [17.] One having a very great Nose, and thin beard, was told the shadow of his Nose did hinder his Beard's growth. [26.] An Apothecary in _Oxford_ spoke to a Country man by way of Jeer to bring him some live Rats, and he would give him eighteen pence a piece for them; and a fortnight after he brought them; and then the Apothecary told him, _That he was provided the day before_. The Country Fellow seeing he was abused, was resolved to be quit with him, saying, _I am unwilling (seeing I have brought them) to carry them back again_; and told him he would take three pence out in Physick at some time or other; and so opened his Bag, and let them about the Shop, which did so whisk up and down the Shelves, that in a little space they broke him about forty Pots and Glasses, and could never get rid of them since. _Probatum est._ _A Courtier and a Scholler meeting._ A Courtier proud walking along the Street, [5.] Hap'ned by chance a Scholler for to meet, The Courtier said, (minding nought more than place) Unto the Scholler, meeting face to face, To take the wall, base men Ile not permit, The Scholler said, I will, and gave him it. [4.] A Lady going to Mass to present her Tapers, fixed one to _St. Michael_, and another to the _Devil_ that was at his Feet. The Clerk seeing her, told her she did not well to offer a Candle to the Devil. _No matter_, says the Lady, _'tis good to have Friends every where; for we know not where we shall go._ [8.] There was a gentleman fell very sick, and a friend of his said to him, Surely you are in danger, I pray you send for a Physician; but the sick man answered, _It is no matter, for if I die I will die at leisure_.