Humour, Wit, & Satire of the Seventeenth Century

English literature -- Early modern, 1500-1700; English wit and humor; Great Britain -- Civilization -- 17th century -- Literary collections

Thus when I come in company
    I passe my mirth in feare,
  For one or other merrily,
    will say my wife is there.
  And then my look doth make them laugh,
    to see my wofull case:
  How I stand like _John hold my staffe_,
    and dare not shew my face.
        _Give me my yellow Hose &c._

  There comes a handsome woman in,
    and shakes me by the hand:
  But how my wife she did begin,
    now you shall understand.
  Faire dame (quoth she) why dost thou so?
    he gave his hand to me:
  And thou shalt know before thou go,
    he is no man for thee.
        _Give me my yellow Hose &c._

  Good wife (quoth she) now doe not scould,
    I will doe so no more;
  I thought I might have beene so bolde
    I knowing him before.
  With that my wife was almost mad,
    yet many did intreat her;
  And I, God knowes, was very sad,
    for feare she would have beat her.
        _Give me my yellow Hose &c._

  Thus marriage is an enterprise
    experience doth show;
  But scolding is an exercise,
    that married men doe know.
  For all this while there was no blowes,
    yet still their tongues was talking;
  And very fain would yellow hose
    have had her fists a walking.
        _Give me my yellow Hose &c._

  In comes a neighbour of our towne,
    an honest man, God wot:
  And he must needes goe sit him downe,
    and call in for his pot.
  And said to me, I am the man
    which gave to you your wife,
  And I will doe the best I can,
    to mend this wicked life.
        _Give me my yellow Hose &c._

  I gave him thankes, and bad him goe,
    and so he did indeed,
  And told my wife she was a shrow,
    but that was more than need.
  Saith he, thou hast an honest man,
    and one that loves thee well;
  Said she, you are a foole, good sir,
    It's more than you can tell.
        _Give me my yellow Hose &c._

  And yet in truth he loveth me,
    but many more beside;
  And I may say, good Sir, to thee,
    that I cannot abide,
  For though he loves me as his life
    yet now, sir, wot you what,
  They say he loves his neighbours wife,
    I pray you how like you that.
        _Give me my yellow Hose &c._

  Saith he, I hope I never shall
    seeke fancy fond to follow,
  For love is lawfull unto all
    except it be too yellow.
  Which lyeth like the Jaundies so,
    in these our Women's faces;
  That watch their husbands where they go
    and hunt them out in places.
        _Give me my yellow Hose &c._

  Now comes my Neighbour's wife apace,
    to talke a word or two,
  My wife then meets her face to face,
    and saith, dame, is it you
  That makes so much of my good man,
    as if he were your owne?
  Then clamp as closely as you can,
    I know it will be known.
        _Give me my yellow hose &c._

Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.

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Humour, Wit, & Satire of the Seventeenth Century

English literature -- Early modern, 1500-1700; English wit and humor; Great Britain -- Civilization -- 17th century -- Literary collections

Thus when I come in company
    I passe my mirth in feare,
  For one or other merrily,
    will say my wife is there.
  And then my look doth make them laugh,
    to see my wofull case:
  How I stand like _John hold my staffe_,
    and dare not shew my face.
        _Give me my yellow Hose &c._

  There comes a handsome woman in,
    and shakes me by the hand:
  But how my wife she did begin,
    now you shall understand.
  Faire dame (quoth she) why dost thou so?
    he gave his hand to me:
  And thou shalt know before thou go,
    he is no man for thee.
        _Give me my yellow Hose &c._

  Good wife (quoth she) now doe not scould,
    I will doe so no more;
  I thought I might have beene so bolde
    I knowing him before.
  With that my wife was almost mad,
    yet many did intreat her;
  And I, God knowes, was very sad,
    for feare she would have beat her.
        _Give me my yellow Hose &c._

  Thus marriage is an enterprise
    experience doth show;
  But scolding is an exercise,
    that married men doe know.
  For all this while there was no blowes,
    yet still their tongues was talking;
  And very fain would yellow hose
    have had her fists a walking.
        _Give me my yellow Hose &c._

  In comes a neighbour of our towne,
    an honest man, God wot:
  And he must needes goe sit him downe,
    and call in for his pot.
  And said to me, I am the man
    which gave to you your wife,
  And I will doe the best I can,
    to mend this wicked life.
        _Give me my yellow Hose &c._

  I gave him thankes, and bad him goe,
    and so he did indeed,
  And told my wife she was a shrow,
    but that was more than need.
  Saith he, thou hast an honest man,
    and one that loves thee well;
  Said she, you are a foole, good sir,
    It's more than you can tell.
        _Give me my yellow Hose &c._

  And yet in truth he loveth me,
    but many more beside;
  And I may say, good Sir, to thee,
    that I cannot abide,
  For though he loves me as his life
    yet now, sir, wot you what,
  They say he loves his neighbours wife,
    I pray you how like you that.
        _Give me my yellow Hose &c._

  Saith he, I hope I never shall
    seeke fancy fond to follow,
  For love is lawfull unto all
    except it be too yellow.
  Which lyeth like the Jaundies so,
    in these our Women's faces;
  That watch their husbands where they go
    and hunt them out in places.
        _Give me my yellow Hose &c._

  Now comes my Neighbour's wife apace,
    to talke a word or two,
  My wife then meets her face to face,
    and saith, dame, is it you
  That makes so much of my good man,
    as if he were your owne?
  Then clamp as closely as you can,
    I know it will be known.
        _Give me my yellow hose &c._

Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.

Humour, Wit, & Satire of the Seventeenth Century

Humour, Wit, & Satire of the Seventeenth Century

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