19. A young Merchant, whose Estate lyes on the _Carriby Islands_, if his Cargo misses the _French Fleet_, he makes a good Joynture. 20. An Ancient Gentleman now purchasing an Estate, wants a rich Wife to stand by him. 21. A Goldsmith near the _Royal Exchange_, a Widdower, of a very considerable Estate, besides a great Trade, will make a good Joynture, and perhaps keep a Coach, he's a very brisk Man. [Footnote 89: Although this "squib" is not dated, this allusion makes it probable it was written in Charles II.'s time.] One Climbing of a Tree, by hap, [51.] Fell downe and brake his arme, And did complaine unto a friend, Of his unluckie harme. Would I had counsel'd you before, (quoth he to whom he spake) I know a tricke for Climbers, that They never hurt shall take. Neighbour (sayd he) I have a Sonne, And he doth use to climbe, Pray let me know the same for him Against another time? Why thus, (quoth he) let any man That lives, climbe nere so hie, And make no more haste downe, than up, No harme can come thereby. [61.] A Gentleman who had constantly beene a good fellow, meeting with some of his friends at a mornings draught, told his Companions that, God forgive him, _he went to bed like a beast_ last night. Why? quoth they, were you so _drunk_? No, quoth he, _I was so sober_. SELDOME CLEANELY[F. 90] or A merry new Ditty, wherein you may see, The tricke of a Huswife, in every degree. Then lend your attention while I doe unfold As pleasant a story as you have heard told. To the Tune of _Upon a Summers time_. Draw neere you Countrey Girles [63.] and lissen unto me, Ile tell you here a new conceit concerning Huswifery, concerning Huswifery. Three Aunts I had of late, good Huswifes all were they, But cruell death hath taken the best of them away, O the best &c-- O this was one of my Aunts, the best of all the three, And surely though I say it myselfe a cleanly woman was she, a cleanly &c. [Illustration] My Uncle carelesse was in wasting of his store, Which made my Aunt to have a care to looke about the more, to looke &c-- When Winter time drew on neere to All hollow day: My Aunt did cast her wits about to save her Straw and Hay. _to save &c_-- And like a provident woman, as plainely did apeare, She starv'd her Bullockes to save her Hay, untill another yeare. _O this was one of my Aunts, the best of all the three And surely, though I say't myselfe a provident woman was shee._ But as she went to see her cattell in the fields: When she comes home, two pound of durt hang dragling at her heeles. _O this &c_ And there she let it hang from Candlemas to May, And then shee tooke a hatchet in hand, and chopt it cleane away. _O this &c_