I slept till between five and six in the morning--it was not yet light
when I awoke--but all the same I got up at once. I had lain in all my
clothes on account of the cold, and had no dressing to do. When I had
drunk a little cold water and opened the door quietly, I went out
directly, for I was afraid to face my landlady again.
A couple of policemen who had been on watch all night were the only
living beings I saw in the street. A while after, some men began to
extinguish the lamps. I wandered about without aim or end, reached
Kirkegaden and the road down towards the fortress. Cold and still
sleepy, weak in the knees and back after my long walk, and very hungry,
I sat down on a seat and dozed for a long time. For three weeks I had
lived exclusively on the bread and butter that my landlady had given me
morning and evening. Now it was twenty-four hours since I had had my
last meal. Hunger began to gnaw badly at me again; I must seek a help
for it right quickly. With this thought I fell asleep again upon the
seat....
I was aroused by the sound of people speaking near me, and when I had
collected myself a little I saw that it was broad day, and that every
one was up and about. I got up and walked away. The sun burst over the
heights, the sky was pale and tender, and in my delight over the lovely
morning, after the many dark gloomy weeks, I forgot all cares, and it
seemed to me as if I had fared worse on other occasions. I clapped
myself on the chest and sang a little snatch for myself. My voice
sounded so wretched, downright exhausted it sounded, and I moved myself
to tears with it. This magnificent day, the white heavens swimming in
light, had far too mighty an effect upon me, and I burst into loud
weeping.
"What is the matter with you?" inquired a man. I did not answer, but
hurried away, hiding my face from all men. I reached the bridge. A
large barque with the Russian flag lay and discharged coal. I read her
name, _Copégoro_, on her side. It distracted me for a time to watch
what took place on board this foreign ship. She must be almost
discharged; she lay with IX foot visible on her side, in spite of all
the ballast she had already taken in, and there was a hollow boom
through the whole ship whenever the coal-heavers stamped on the deck
with their heavy boots.
The sun, the light, and the salt breath from the sea, all this busy,
merry life pulled me together a bit, and caused my blood to run
lustily. Suddenly it entered my head that I could work at a few scenes
of my drama whilst I sat here, and I took my papers out of my pocket.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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