I feel involuntarily in my pockets for a few shillings. The passion
that thrills through the movements of every one of the passers-by, the
dim light of the gas lamps, the quiet pregnant night, all commence to
affect me--this air, that is laden with whispers, embraces, trembling
admissions, concessions, half-uttered words and suppressed cries. A
number of cats are declaring their love with loud yells in Blomquist's
doorway. And I did not possess even a florin! It was a misery, a
wretchedness without parallel to be so impoverished. What humiliation,
too; what disgrace! I began again to think about the poor widow's last
mite, that I would have stolen a schoolboy's cap or handkerchief, or a
beggar's wallet, that I would have brought to a rag-dealer without more
ado, and caroused with the proceeds.
In order to console myself--to indemnify myself in some measure--I take
to picking all possible faults in the people who glide by. I shrug my
shoulders contemptuously, and look slightingly at them according as
they pass. These easily-pleased, confectionery-eating students, who
fancy they are sowing their wild oats in truly Continental style if
they tickle a sempstress under the ribs! These young bucks, bank
clerks, merchants, flâneurs--who would not disdain a sailor's wife;
blowsy Molls, ready to fall down in the first doorway for a glass of
beer! What sirens! The place at their side still warm from the last
night's embrace of a watch-man or a stable-boy! The throne always
vacant, always open to newcomers! Pray, mount!
I spat out over the pavement, without troubling if it hit any one. I
felt enraged; filled with contempt for these people who scraped
acquaintanceship with one another, and paired off right before my eyes.
I lifted my head, and felt in myself the blessing of being able to keep
my own sty clean. At Stortingsplads (Parliament Place) I met a girl who
looked fixedly at me as I came close to her.
"Good-night!" said I.
"Good-night!" She stopped.
Hum! was she out walking so late? Did not a young lady run rather a
risk in being in Carl Johann at this time of night? Really not? Yes;
but was she never spoken to, molested, I meant; to speak plainly, asked
to go along home with any one?
She stared at me with astonishment, scanned my face closely, to see
what I really meant by this, then thrust her hand suddenly under my
arm, and said:
"Yes, and we went too!"
I walked on with her. But when we had gone a few paces past the
car-stand I came to a standstill, freed my arm, and said:
"Listen, my dear, I don't own a farthing!" and with that I went on.
At first she would not believe me; but after she had searched all my
pockets, and found nothing, she got vexed, tossed her head, and called
me a dry cod.
"Good-night!" said I.
"Wait a minute," she called; "are those eyeglasses that you've got
gold?"
"No."
"Then go to blazes with you!" and I went.
A few seconds after she came running behind me, and called out to me:
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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