The only thing that troubled me a little, in spite of the nausea that
the thought of food inspired in me, was hunger. I commenced to be
sensible of a shameless appetite again; a ravenous lust of food, which
grew steadily worse and worse. It gnawed unmercifully in my breast;
carrying on a silent, mysterious work in there. It was as if a score of
diminutive gnome-like insects set their heads on one side and gnawed
for a little, then laid their heads on the other side and gnawed a
little more, then lay quite still for a moment's space, and then began
afresh, boring noiselessly in, and without any haste, and left empty
spaces everywhere after them as they went on....
I was not ill, but faint; I broke into a sweat. I thought of going to
the market-place to rest a while, but the way was long and wearisome;
at last I had almost reached it. I stood at the corner of the market
and Market Street; the sweat ran down into my eyes and blinded me, and
I had just stopped in order to wipe it away a little. I did not notice
the place I was standing in; in fact, I did not think about it; the
noise around me was something frightful.
Suddenly a call rings out, a cold, sharp warning. I hear this cry--hear
it quite well, and I start nervously to one side, stepping as quickly
as my bad foot allows me to. A monster of a bread-van brushes past me,
and the wheel grazes my coat; I might perhaps have been a little
quicker if I had exerted myself. Well, there was no help for it; one
foot pained me, a couple of toes were crunched. I felt that they, as it
were, curled up in my shoes.
The driver reins in his horse with all his might. He turns round on the
van and inquires in a fright how it fares with me. Oh! it might have
been worse, far worse.... It was perhaps not so dangerous.... I didn't
think any bones were broken. Oh, pray....
I rushed over as quickly as I could to a seat; all these people who
stopped and stared at me abashed me. After all, it was no mortal blow;
comparatively speaking, I had got off luckily enough, as misfortune was
bound to come in my way. The worst thing was that my shoe was crushed
to pieces; the sole was torn loose at the toe. I help up my foot, and
saw blood inside the gap. Well, it wasn't intentional on either side;
it was not the man's purpose to make things worse for me than they
were; he looked much concerned about it. It was quite certain that if I
had begged him for a piece of bread out of his cart he would have given
it to me. He would certainly have given it to me gladly. God bless him
in return, wherever he is!...
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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