Hurrell Froude: Memoranda and CommentsGuiney, Louise Imogen
History
Hurrell Froude: Memoranda and Comments
Guiney, Louise Imogen
Froude, Richard Hurrell, 1803-1836
With how sound a judgment he counselled Mr. Froude to burn
his books, may be judged from the following entries in them:
‘“I have been talking a great deal to P.[314] about religion to-day.
He seems to take such straightforward practical views of it that, when
I am talking to him, I wonder what I have been bothering myself with
all the summer, and almost doubt how far it is right to allow myself
to indulge in speculations on a subject where all that is necessary is
so plain and obvious.”――“Yesterday, when I went out shooting, I
fancied I did not care whether I hit or not; but when it came to the
point, I found myself anxious, and, after having killed, was not
unwilling to let myself be considered a better shot than I described
myself. I had an impulse, too, to let it be thought that I had only
three shots when I really had had four. It was slight, to be sure, but
I felt it.”――“I have read my journal, though I can hardly identify
myself with the person it describes. It seems like having someone
under one’s guardianship who was an intolerable fool, and exposed
himself to my contempt, every moment, for the most ridiculous and
trifling motives; and while I was thinking all this, I went into L.’s
room to seek a pair of shoes, and on hearing him coming, got away as
silently as possible. Why did I do this? Did I think I was doing what
L. did not like? or was it the relic of a sneaking habit? I will ask
myself these questions again.”――“I have a sort of vanity which aims at
my own good opinion, and I look for anything to prove to myself that I
am more anxious to mind myself than other people. I was very hungry,
but because I thought the charge unreasonable, I tried to shirk the
waiter: sneaking!”――“Yesterday I was much put out by an old fellow
chewing tobacco and spitting across me; also bad thoughts of various
kinds kept presenting themselves to my mind when it was vacant.”――“I
talked sillily to-day, as I used to do last Term, but took no pleasure
in it, so I am not ashamed. Although I don’t recollect any harm of
myself, yet I don’t feel that I have made a clean breast of it.”――“I
forgot to mention that I had been looking round my rooms, and thinking
that they looked comfortable and nice, and that I said in my heart,
‘Ah, ah! I am warm.’”――“It always suggests itself to me that a wise
thought is wasted when it is kept to myself, against which, as it is
my most bothering temptation, I will set down some arguments to be
called to mind in time of trouble.”――“Now I am proud of this, and
think that the knowledge it shows of myself implies a greatness of
mind.”――“These records are no guide to me to show the state of my mind
afterwards; they are so far from being exercises of humility, that
they lessen the shame of what I record, just as professions [of]
goodwill to other people reconcile us to our neglect of them.”
* * * * *
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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