"Yes! had you been sincere with me then, grieved and disappointed as
I would have felt, I would have respected you the more, and loved you
none the less for the disclosure. But when, after a year and a half
of married life, I learn that the woman I have loved and trusted with
my whole soul--from whom I have never concealed a thought that it
could interest her to know--has all the while been playing a false
part--vowing at the altar to love me and me alone, when she secretly
idolized another; bearing my name, living beneath my roof, sleeping in
my bosom--yet thinking of, and caring for him, treasuring his keepsakes
as the most precious of her possessions--is it strange that, when
the tongue of a vulgar gossip proclaims my shame in my hearing, and
other evidence proves what I thought was his vile slander to be true
as gospel--is it strange, I say, that I am incensed at the deception
practised upon me--at the infamous outrage of my dearest hopes--my most
holy feelings?"
She threw herself at his feet, clasped his knees, and implored him,
chokingly, to "forgive" her. "Oh! if you knew what I have suffered!"
"What you have suffered!" He folded his arms and looked sorrowfully
down at her crouching figure. "Yes! you were not by nature coarse and
unfeeling! The violence you have committed upon your heart and every
principle of delicacy and truth must have cost you pain. Then you loved
him!"
"Once! a long while ago!" said Sarah, hiding her face in her hands.
"Take care!" There was no softness now in his tone. "Remember that
I have seen you together day by day, and that glances and actions,
unnoticed at the time in my stupid blindness, recur to me now with
terrible meaning. For once, speak the true voice of feeling, and own
what I know already, that all the love you ever had to give belongs
still to your sister's husband!"
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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