To many it is appointed to lead two lives; to think and feel as well
as to act a double part; to separate, as inexorably as human will
can decree, past hopes and joys--past sorrows, and, if practicable,
past memories from the thoughts and emotions of the to-day in which
they exist. Thousands keep up the barrier until death ends the need
of watchfulness and labor; the coffin-lid covers the faithful mask
that has smiled so patiently and so long above an aching heart. Yet
dammed up passion is a dangerous thing. If hearts were so constituted
that they could be drained like pestilential marshes, the flood
conducted off in harmless and straight channels, then, indeed, might
hypocrisy rejoice, and sleek decorum sit down at ease. As it is,
genteel propriety and refined reticence are perpetually endangered by
the unforeseen swell of some intermittent spring, or the thawing of
some ice-bound stream, that is liable to overleap or tear away the
dike--ingulfing in an instant the elaborate structures years of toil
have cheaply purchased.
Such was the moment when, withdrawing her hand from Philip's arm, Sarah
struck suddenly--fiercely--upon her breast, and cried: "Oh! why cannot
I die and end this misery!"
"Sarah!"
"I say I can bear it no longer! Others do not suffer thus! If they do,
they die, or lose their reason. I will not endure it, I tell you!"
"Sister!"
"Do not call me by that name, Philip Benson! You know better!"
She leaned forward on the balcony railing, her eyes fixed on the sea.
Her deep, hurried breathing was like the pant of some worried animal,
gathering strength, and, with it, courage for renewed conflict. To
her last words the mysterious plaint of the sea lent meaning. Philip,
too, remembered that barren shore, the tumbling breakers, the solitary
sea-bird's labored flight landward. Was this his work? It was but a
flicker of truth--dashed out the next second by a blow of indignant
will.
"You may forbid me to address you by this title, Sarah; but you cannot
hinder me from sympathizing with you in your sorrow, and trying to
befriend you. If my companionship is unwelcome, allow me to conduct you
to your room. I cannot leave you alone here, where there is continual
passing."
"You are right. Regard for appearances is the one thing needful," she
said, mockingly. "I must be a dull scholar if I have not learned that
I am sane again now--fit to associate with other sane people. If you
please, we will go to the ball-room instead of upstairs. I am not a
candidate for solitary confinement yet!"
"Mrs. Hammond, I heard a gentleman inquiring anxiously for you just
now!" called out a lady, in passing. "He said that you promised to
dance with him."
"I did. Thank you for reminding me. A little faster, my good brother!"
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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