No more affecting proof could have been given of her prostrated
mind and will than this unreserved recital. The secret she had sold
conscience and liberty to preserve, she communicated now without a
blush. Here--where she had formed the intimacy that had shadowed so
darkly her after days--she detailed every step of the wrong course to
which this weakness was a key; went over all--the stormy parting with
her husband; her conviction of the mutual peril she and Philip were
tempting in their daily communion; her resolve of self-destruction--as
circumstantially as if she were relating the biography of another.
Aunt Sarah, horrified and pitiful by turns, struggled with indifferent
success to maintain equal composure, and against growing doubts of
the narrator's sanity. It was a striking and instructive contrast:
the world-weary woman returning for consolation and advice to the
simple-minded matron, to whom the artificial existence she now heard
depicted--its gilded vices and giddy round of vanities; its trials and
temptations--were a wonderful, a monstrous tale, as foreign to her
sphere of principles and feelings as if they had transpired in another
world. But when Sarah came to speak of her child, her manner changed,
her voice was hoarse and uneven, and over the careworn visage there
went such alterations of fierceness and heart-breaking sorrow that the
listening mother, upon whose soul the shadow of her own children's
graves still lay long and dark, could hear no more in silence.
"My poor girl!" she cried, falling on her knees, and throwing her arms
around the reclining figure. "Dear child! Our Father in heaven pity and
comfort you! There is no help in man for such trouble as yours!"
Sarah had not shed a tear in the course of her story. She said
afterwards that she had not wept since they took her dead baby from
her clasp; but at this burst of unfeigned sympathy, this gush of
pure love and compassion, the burning rock was cleft, and a blessed
flood streamed from it. For some minutes they wept together without
restraint, and when the more quiet grief of the elder mourner was
repressed, the other still clung, sobbing to her bosom.
Aunt Sarah held and soothed her as she would have done a sorrowful
child; stroking away the hair from her forehead, drying and kissing the
tear-stained cheeks, with many an epithet of fond reassurance.
"Let me finish! There is very little more!" resumed Sarah, keeping
her aunt's hand fast in both of hers. "We went back to the city, and
the next day we laid her in Greenwood. We stayed at father's--I would
not return to the house that used to be mine. Father was very kind,
and mother meant to be; but she tormented me with suggestions and
consultations about my black clothes. Lucy was pining to get back to
Newport. She said it was hot and dull in New York. Philip wanted to
comfort me, but I shunned him, and I think he was hurt by my conduct;
but it was best, was it not, Aunt Sarah?"
"Certainly, dear!"
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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