Lesbians -- Fiction; Love stories; New York (N.Y.) -- Fiction
“Forgive me,” she begged. “It’s your turn now, Marcie. I frightened you.
I didn’t mean to, I didn’t!” And she caught Marcie’s hand and kissed it.
“Laura,” Marcie said quietly. “I’ve been trying to talk to you for weeks
and you wouldn’t let me. Now it’s eating me up. I’m going to tell you
something. And you’re going to listen.” Her voice trembled so that Laura
looked up at her.
“Laura, I’m so ashamed, so ashamed.”
“Tell me, Marcie. Tell me. I’m listening now.” She searched her face
anxiously.
Marcie swallowed her tears and with a tremendous effort, said, “I did an
awful thing, Laur. I’ve known for a while about you.” She looked away,
struggling with herself; her shame, her pity, her shaking voice.
“You—you knew?” Laura whispered, going white.
“Yes. I couldn’t help knowing. You couldn’t hide it, Laura. You couldn’t
come near me without it showing—in your eyes, your face. The way you
touched me, the things you said, all the crazy moods you had. You seemed
afraid of me. You let things slip. You even kissed me once. I’ve been
around enough to know. I knew about you.” She wiped the tears from her
cheeks embarrassedly and went on, unable to look at Laura, “I should
have told you. Or else I should have let it drop. But I guess it
interested me. It seemed like a game. I got sort of intrigued, you might
say. I even told Burr what I suspected ... months ago ...” She stifled a
sob.
Laura’s face was colorless, tortured. Her hands were over her mouth.
“It kills me to say these things,” Marcie whispered. “But I did
everything to earn your contempt. I can’t lie to you any more, Laura. I
even _bet_ Burr I could make you make a pass at me.”
“No,” Laura gasped. “Oh, no—”
“He thought it was all a joke. He wouldn’t even listen to me. Until I
got fed up with him and started hanging around here so much. Then he got
it into his head that we were having a hot and heavy affair. I couldn’t
talk him out of it. I’d gone too far for that.”
Laura turned away from her and rested her head against her own bed, too
stunned, too wounded, to answer or understand half of it.
“Laura.” Marcie bent toward her. “I don’t know what crazy imp gets hold
of me sometimes. I swear I don’t. I never even wondered what I’d do if
it ever came to this, if you ever tried to make love to me. I guess I
thought it would be a game, like everything else. I guess I thought it
would be a lot of kicks. Or just a stupid silly thing that wouldn’t
really matter. To either of us. I guess I didn’t think at all.
“And just now—on the roof—when you told me how you felt, and how you
wanted me—Laura, I had no idea you could love like that. I didn’t know
it could be beautiful, or touching, or tragic. I thought it was mostly
play-acting. I thought the only real love was between men and women. But
you made it beautiful, Laura. I don’t know what else to call it. I’m
ashamed. Clear through my soul. I played you for a fool, and all the
while you were an angel.”
Laura began to sob.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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