"I'll Leave It To You": A Light Comedy In Three ActsCoward, Noël
General
"I'll Leave It To You": A Light Comedy In Three Acts
Coward, Noël
Comedy plays; Inheritance and succession -- Drama
BOBBIE. She wouldn't have been if it wasn't for her beastly mother. Just
because you found him out before us, by a fluke, you think you can
preach to us about being rude to him. Well, you'd have been just as bad
under the same circumstances, if not worse. The fact of you having
spotted his game doesn't make it any the less disgusting. He's behaved
atrociously and you know it, making fools of us all. What do you think
my friends will say? Joyce's school girls? Vangy's literary nuts?
SYLVIA (_coming down_ R. _to below Chesterfield_). It's your own silly
faults. You shouldn't have told them.
EVANGELINE (_rising_). Don't be so superior. Of course we only did in
confidence. (_Going up_ R., _followed by_ JOYCE.)
SYLVIA. Well, that's not Uncle Dan's fault, he only did it for the
best....
BOBBIE. Best be damned!
SYLVIA. If you can't curb your language I should think you'd better go
outside.
BOBBIE (_rising, knife in hand_). I shall do exactly as I like. I'm fed
up with you, Sylvia, you're as bad as he is. (_Throws knife on table._)
And if you think you can get round us by making excuses for him you're
jolly well mistaken. I suppose all this is a put-up job! (_Moves to_
L.C.)
SYLVIA (_R.C._). How dare you, Bobbie! It's nothing of the sort. Only
luckily I have a little discrimination, I can see the difference between
good and bad, and Uncle Dan's good, good all through. He wouldn't do
harm to any one or anything in the world. He did all this out of genuine
kindness. He couldn't help us in any other way, so he made us work,
hoping it would improve us. And I should think he'd go back to America
sick and wretched inside with disappointment having discovered that we,
his only relatives, have only liked him and been nice to him because of
his money--waiting for him to die like beastly treacherous ghouls.
(EVANGELINE _attempts to speak._)
That's what you are, ghouls! (_Turning on_ EVANGELINE.) And selfish
pigs, and if you don't apologise to him I shall never speak to any of
you again.
OLIVER. Hah! (_Throws down serviette and exits_ R.)
SYLVIA. Oh, you're very dignified walking out like that without saying
anything. I hate you! I hate you all! Poor Uncle Daniel--it's rotten.
(_She bursts out crying, and subsides on Chesterfield._)
(_Towards the end of her speech, the rest have risen and walked out with
their heads in the air_, R. BOBBIE _kicks violently at paper on floor
and goes upstairs. There is a moment's pause, then enter_ DANIEL
_from garden._)
DANIEL (_coming_ C.). I left the car down the drive, hoping to make a
sweet lovable entrance with perhaps a few rose leaves on my coat. Where
is everybody?
SYLVIA (_sniffing on Chesterfield_). It's no use, they're still being
beastly. Mother sent for you. She's frightfully upset at your going to
the _Green Hart_.
DANIEL. If they're keeping it up, I think I'd better go back. (_Moving
towards entrance._)
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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