"I'll Leave It To You": A Light Comedy In Three ActsCoward, Noël
General
"I'll Leave It To You": A Light Comedy In Three Acts
Coward, Noël
Comedy plays; Inheritance and succession -- Drama
MRS. DERMOTT (C.). How dare you behave like you have done. I shall
never, never forgive you--you're cruel and horrid and----
OLIVER. It's all very fine, mother, but he made fools of us.
MRS. DERMOTT. He didn't do anything of the sort--he only meant it
kindly--going to all that trouble, too (_she weeps again_), with one
foot in the grave.
BOBBIE. And the other in the _Green Hart_.
JOYCE. He's not going to die. He said he meant to live to eighty-two.
MRS. DERMOTT. Eighty-three, I think, was the age, dear, but that's just
another instance of his dear unselfishness--so that you wouldn't worry
over him. I know! I'm going up to my room--you've upset me for the rest
of the day. Call me the very moment he comes. Oh, how could you? How
could you be so unkind? Oh, just look at my nose, it's all red and
shiny.
(_Exit upstairs._ SYLVIA _follows, standing at the foot of the stairs,
looking after her. There is silence for a moment._)
BOBBIE. That's torn it.
JOYCE. Now what are we to do?
SYLVIA (_moving down_). I know. (_At head of table._)
OLIVER. What, then?
SYLVIA. Apologise to Uncle Dan, every one of you, for being such utter
beasts.
OLIVER. Well, I'm hanged!
(_During the following speech, the others continue their breakfasts._)
SYLVIA. So you jolly well ought to be. Who do you owe your position in
the motor works to, Oliver? Uncle Dan. Who do you owe your song
successes to, Bobbie? Uncle Dan. And you, Joyce, d'you think you'd have
won a single thing if it hadn't been for him? Do you imagine Evangeline
would have had the vim to have stuck to her novel if it hadn't been for
Uncle Dan's faith in her? I know I should never have done a thing,
either. And all we did it for apparently, was that he could die off
conveniently and leave us his money--the moment he'd done that I suppose
we should have stopped working. What charming characters! Waiting for a
man to die, and then getting disagreeable because he says he doesn't
want to. Do you think any one of you would stop work now for anything?
Of course you wouldn't. I know _that_. Don't you see that Uncle Dan
chose the one and only way of really helping us? He's worked wonders and
we ought to be thankful to him until our dying day....
BOBBIE (_marmalade on toast in hand_). It's all very fine for you--he
hasn't come between you and the only person you've ever loved....
SYLVIA. And that's one of the best things of all--he's been the means of
showing Faith up in her true colours. Bobbie, you must realise now in
your heart of hearts what a rotter she is?
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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