I, Mary MacLane: A Diary of Human DaysMacLane, Mary
General
I, Mary MacLane: A Diary of Human Days
MacLane, Mary
MacLane, Mary, 1881-1929; Montana -- Biography; Women authors, American -- Biography
I cast myself at her feet, I seized her hands, I watered them
with tears, I reminded her of all the happy moments we had spent
together, I offered to continue my brigand’s life, if that would
please her. Everything, sir, everything--I offered her everything
if she would only love me again.
She said: “Love you again? That’s not possible. Live with you? I
will not do it.”
I was wild with fury. I drew my knife. I would have had her look
frightened and sue for mercy--but that woman was a demon. I
cried: “For the last time I ask you, Will you stay with me?”
“No! No! No!” she said and she stamped her foot. Then she
pulled a ring I had given her off her finger and cast it into
the brushwood. I struck her twice over--I had taken Garcia’s
knife because I had broken my own. At the second thrust she
fell without a sound. It seems to me that I can still see her
great black eyes staring at me. Then they grew dim and the
lids closed.--For a good hour I lay there prostrate beside the
corpse.’--
No play-acting could make the scene so pregnant and palpitant with
human-stuff and alive in vision as that translucent jewel-prose
of Mérimée. But so close as one art may counterfeit another, by
drinking-up the fiery spirit essence which informs it, so close
did this actor-woman compass and consummate the strong delicious
unafraidness of Carmen’s death-hour.
The scene was staged as in the opera--a court outside the
bull-fighting arena, with Carmen richly bejeweled and dressed in
the lacy smart-lady clothes of the Toreador’s mistress. But that
was nothing. The gypsy wildness of the written scene was in every
insolently splendid bodily movement and each fateful loveliness of
eyes and lips of the fulfilling Theda Bara.
I can still see the dark drooping-lidded dying eyes. I sensed Carmen
in conscious chambers of my Mind. I felt her in my throat. It was
Carmen herself living and breathing near me, the fearsomely adorable
Carmen who has haunted the edge of my thoughts since I first read her.
There are some odd crudenesses in Theda Bara’s acting which had the
effect of making her un-stagey, unobvious. They made her humanly
vibrant. And they added a devilish wistfulness to her Carmen and a
surprising feel of genuineness to the whole masque.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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