London (England) -- Fiction; Satire; Suffragists -- Fiction
“I’m going right on, ma’am,” said the treasure. “Would you believe me,
this Tring e-volves a system (save the mark) by which he gives away this
flour—gives it away, mind you, gratis, free, for nothing, with a kiss
thrown in if required, to any nigger cute enough to rub his little tummy
and say he’s feeling empty. You may reckon I just couldn’t quit Union
Town without a call to see if the man was an imbecile or what. I found a
young cub with a curly smile playing around in the orfice. Say, what do
you suppose he answered me when I told him ‘Good-morning, and what’s
this sentimental money-chucking, anyway?’”
“I am dying to know,” said the lady novelist.
“Said it was the foyrst time he’d ever been led to think there might be
something in sentiment after all. I was fair rattled.”
The young cub with the curly smile, as you may, with your customary
astuteness, have guessed, was the gardener. He had assumed the pose of
philanthropist, which, when conducted at some one else’s expense, is one
of the most delightful poses conceivable. The pleasure to be found in
helping the dirty destitute seems to need an explanation beyond the plea
of altruism. There is a real charm in domineering to good purpose. To
say unto one man Go and he goeth, and to another Come and he cometh, is
at all times pleasant, but when such a luxury as autocracy becomes a
virtue, there are few who disregard its glamour.
The gardener’s broken leg recovered as quickly as any leg could have
done. He had an enthusiastic and healthy attitude towards suffering and
illness, an attitude which he took instinctively, and which mental
scientists and faith-healers try to produce artificially. He was always
serenely convinced that he would be better next day. He lived in a state
of secret disappointment in to-day’s progress, and unforced confidence
in to-morrow’s. He might be described as a discontented optimist; though
often convinced that the worst had happened, he was always sure that the
best was going to happen. Conversely, of course, you can be a contented
pessimist, happy in to-day, but entirely distrustful of to-morrow.
To the gardener’s methods may perhaps be ascribed the fact that in a
fortnight he was able with the help of a stick, and with the
encouragement of Aitch and Zed, to walk about his room. His first
excursion was to the window.
The houses opposite had fallen in on their own foundations. One complete
wall was standing starkly amid the mass. Portraits of the King and Queen
and a text or two still clung to their positions against the stained and
florid wall-paper.
“Do you see that house that you just can’t see, the other side of that
wall?” asked Aitch.
“Yes, I see,” said the gardener. “I mean I just can’t see.”
“That’s where dead Uncle Jonathan lives,” said Aitch. “He’s left Father
the flour in his will.”
“How good of him. I hope it was a pretty one.”
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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