creatures, and to realise through it the Divine love of which it is
surely the foreshadowing--would you have me believe myself degraded by
love so sent? Would you have me turn from it and call it sin, when I
feel that God Himself is the giver?"
I was silent, not knowing how to answer her.
Presently I asked: "But why not have a legal separation, a divorce,
from your husband now?"
"I cannot," she answered, sadly. "At one time I had written proof of
his turpitude, but I could not make up my mind to use it then, and I
destroyed it eventually; so that now my word would be the only evidence
against him, and that would not do, I suppose, although you all know,
better than I do, I fancy, what his life has been."
Other people had by this time come into the conservatory, and we were
therefore obliged to change the subject.
In the days that followed every one seemed to become conscious of some
impending trouble. We were all depressed, and one by one our party left
us, until at last only Ideala remained, for we had not the heart to ask
other guests, even if it had been expedient, and, under the
circumstances, Claudia did not consider it so.
Ideala spent much of her time in writing to Lorrimer. Some of these
letters were never sent. I fancy she wrote exactly as she felt, and
often feared when she had done so that she had been too frank. How
these two ever came to such an understanding I am at a loss to imagine,
and I have searched in vain for any clue to the mystery. Only one thing
is plain to me, that when at last Ideala understood her feeling for
Lorrimer, she cherished it. After she found that her husband had broken
every tie, disregarded every obligation, legal and moral, that bound
her to him, she seems to have considered herself free. But I feel quite
sure she had not acknowledged this, even to herself, when she returned
to Lorrimer, and that simply because she had not contemplated the
possibility of being asked to take any decided step. When the time
came, however, she apparently never questioned her right to act on this
fancied freedom. The circumstances under which they had met were
probably responsible for a great deal. The whole of their acquaintance
had had something unusual about it, which would naturally predispose
their minds to further unaccustomed issues when any question of right
or expediency arose. The restrictions which men and women have seen fit
to place upon their intercourse with each other are the outcome of ages
of experience, and they who disregard them bring upon themselves the
troubles against which those same restrictions, irksome at times as
they must be, are the only adequate defence.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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