My heart gave a great leap, but I could not ask if it were well with
her. I could only look at Claudia, and wonder if it were the moonlight
that made the expression of her face so singularly content and sweet. I
went into the lighted house, and being somewhat dazed and altogether
too eager to see her at once, I dressed for the evening, leisurely, and
then I went to find her. There was a change in the house already. It
was lighted from top to bottom as befits a time of rejoicing, and our
other guests, whom I passed in my search, seemed gayer--or I fancied
so. She was not among them, but I took the liberty of going to her
rooms and knocked at the sitting-room door, and entered. She rose to
receive me, stretching out her hands, and my first impression was that
she had grown; afterwards I understood that it was a change in the
fashion of her dress that made it appear so. She wore a long robe,
exquisitely draped, which was loose, but yet clung to her, and fell in
rich folds about her with a grace that satisfied. I cannot describe the
fashion of this robe, or the form, but I have seen one like it
somewhere--it must have been in a picture, or on a statue of a grand
heroic woman or a saint; and it suggested something womanly and strong,
but not to be defined.
It was Ideala, herself--not as she had been, but as I always hoped she
would be, and felt she might. She showed the change in every gesture,
but most of all in her clear and steady eyes, which made you feel she
had a purpose now, and a future yet before her. She looked as women
look when they know themselves entrusted with a work, and have the
courage and resolution to be true and worthy of their trust. She was
very gracious, but somehow in the first moment of our meeting I felt
abashed--abashed before this woman who had gone down to the verge of
dishonour, but whose goodness, with the vitality of all goodness, had
raised her again above the best; whose trouble had been to her, because
of this goodness, as is a painful operation which must be gone through
if the patient would ever be strong.
I fancy she thought me cold because my great respect made me shy, and I
hesitated to show her all the joy I felt.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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