In a Canadian Canoe; The Nine Muses Minus One, and Other StoriesPain, Barry
General
In a Canadian Canoe; The Nine Muses Minus One, and Other Stories
Pain, Barry
English wit and humor
Then Bill’s father had gone away to his work, being unable to afford
the loss of a day; and Bill’s vehement, red-haired aunt had come into
the kitchen, and shaken him, and abused him, and given him some
breakfast. Bill’s aunt was one of those unfortunate people who cannot
love one person without hating three others to make up for it. Just
at present she was loving Bill’s mother, her sister, very much, and
retained her self-respect by being very strict with Bill’s father, with
Bill himself, and with the doctor. She instructed Bill that he was not
to go to school that morning. He was to remain absolutely quiet in the
kitchen, because he might be wanted to run errands and do odd jobs. For
some time Bill had obeyed her, and then monotony tempted him to include
the little yard at the back in his definition of the kitchen. All the
basement flats in Pond Buildings have little yards at the back. Most
of the inhabitants use them as drying-grounds. In some of them there
is a dead shrub or the remains of a sanguine geranium that failed; in
all of them there are cinders and very old meat-tins. Now, when Bill
went out into the yard, he found the black cat, which he called Simon
Peter, asleep in the sun on the wall. Simon Peter did not belong to any
one; she roamed about at the back of Pond Buildings, dodged anything
that was thrown at her, and ate unspeakable things. She had formed a
melancholy and unremunerative attachment to Bill; her name had been
suggested to him by stray visits to a Sunday-school, forced on him
during a short season when his father, to use his own phrase, had got
religion. “Siming Peter,” said Bill, as he scratched her gently under
the ear, “Siming Peter, my cat, come in ’ere along o’ me and ’ave some
milk.”
It is not at all probable that Simon Peter was deceived by this. She
must have known that, with the best intentions in the world, Bill
could not do so much as this for her. Yet she blinked at him with her
lazy green eyes, and followed him from the yard into the kitchen. Bill
filled a saucer with water, and put it down on the ground before her.
“There yer are, Siming Peter,” he said; “an’ that’s better for yer nor
any milk.” Simon Peter put up her back slowly, mewed contemptuously,
and trotted out into the yard again. Bill, dashing after her, trod on
the saucer and broke it, and overturned a chair. In another moment he
was in the clutches of his fierce aunt.
“Do you want to kill your blessed mother, you devil? Didn’t I tell yer
to sit quoite? An’ a good saucer broke, with the poor dead corpse of
your byeby sister lyin’ in the next room. Go hout! You’re more nuisance
nor you’re wuth. See ’ere. Don’t you show your ugly ’ead ’ere agin
afore night. An’ when yer comes back I’ll tell your father of yer, an’
’e ’ll skin yer alive. Dinner? Not for such as you. Hout yer git.”
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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