She sat up and listened. The knock was repeated softly. She turned her
head and stared at the door. Then she murmured, "Come in."
The door whispered open, and a woman in soft black skirts whispered in.
The room was lighted only by the radiance from the sky, and the
mysterious woman was mysteriously vague against the dimly illuminated
hall.
She closed the door after her and stood, a shadow in a shadow. Even her
face was a mere glimmer, like a patch of moonlight on the door, and her
voice was stealthy as a breeze. It was something like the voice she
heard called "Mrs. Elsbree."
Hilda started to rise, but a faint, white hand pressed her back and the
voice said:
"Don't rise, my dear. I know how weak you are, what you have gone
through, alone, here in this dreary place. I know what pain you have
endured, and the shame you have felt, the shame that faces you outside
in the world. It is a cruel world. To women--oh, but it is cruel! It has
no mercy for a woman who loves too well.
"If you had a lot of money you might fight it with its own weapon. Money
is the one weapon it respects. But you haven't any money, have you, my
dear? If you had, you wouldn't be here in the dark alone, would you?
"I'm afraid there is nothing ahead of you, either, but darkness, my
dear. The man you loved has deserted you, hasn't he? He is a poor, weak
thing, anyway. Even if he married you, you would probably part. He'd
always hate you. Nobody else will want you for a wife, you poor child;
you know that, don't you? And nobody will help you, because of the baby.
You couldn't find work and keep the baby with you, could you? And you
couldn't leave it. It is a weight about your neck; it will drown you in
deep waters.
"Even if it lived, it would have only misery ahead of it, for your story
would follow it through life. The older it grew, the more it would
suffer. It would despise you and itself. How much happier you would be
not to be alive at all, both of you, you poor, unwelcome things!
"There are many problems ahead of you, my dear; and you'll never solve
them, except in one way. If you were dead and asleep in your grave with
your poor little one at your breast, all your troubles would be over
then, wouldn't they? People would feel sorry for you; they wouldn't
sneer at you then. And you wouldn't mind loneliness or hunger or
pointing fingers or anything.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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