The night was slightly frosty, and over the houses to the north of the
Fields the glare of Holborn shone rustily. There were few people about.
As we walked, by this time almost used to the strangeness of one
another's company, I wished that the central garden of the square had
not been closed; at least she would have had the association of a tree
and a plot of grass to go with her plighting. But I knew that such
weaknesses as this were not safe, and shut peremptorily down on them.
She seemed so pathetically small and skimpy by my side, and had I
yielded even a little I could almost have persuaded myself of a
tenderness for her. This I refused to do. I would do nothing to make
easy for myself what would by-and-by prove cruel enough for her.
We were half way round the Fields on our second circuit before I spoke
again. I moistened my lips and steeled myself.
"Miss Windus," I said.
I think a tremor took her instantly with my change of tone. She looked
up, but I did not hear whether she said anything.
Nor did I say anything. Our hands, as we walked, were close together. I
took hers.
She made no attempt to draw it away, and we walked so. Presently I took
the hand in my other one, and this brought it across my breast. I
daresay she felt the beating of my heart.
"Kitty," I whispered.
She pressed against me a little.
I don't think it ever entered her head that I intended anything but just
that we should walk, for that one night, round Lincoln's Inn Fields like
this. I don't believe she thought of anything. With even that heel and
paring of love she was content--just to walk so, to-morrow if it was to
be, if not then at any rate to-night, with her hand in a man's and her
shoulder pressing lightly against a man's shoulder.
Well, she had it.
"Kitty," I whispered again. This was in a dark shadow on the south side
of the Fields. Without prearrangement we had ceased to walk, and were
standing together, she with her face turned downwards and away, quite
ready to give me all she supposed I wanted of her.
She couldn't murmur my name in return. She didn't know it. It was, for
her, merely "Man." But instead she gave me that for which I stooped over
her. She gave it with a heartrending impulsiveness throwing back her
head suddenly and leaning her bosom on mine. I felt a pair of dry,
slightly cracked lips on my own and was conscious of an odour of
clothes.... Then we separated again.
"Oh," she said, with a shaky little exhalation of her breath, "I ... I
didn't think you'd ever look at me--Jeff!"
This last was a quick invention, to cover her ignorance of my Christian
name.
She meant that she hadn't thought that anybody would ever look at her.
Every shred of the old pretence of the pertinacities and annoyances of
strangers had fallen from her. She lifted up her face again--and
again--as if by present gluttony to forestall insatiable hungers of the
morrow and the morrow after that.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
Reviews
Reviews
No reviews yet
Be the first to share your thoughts on this work.
Elsewhere in the archive
Join the Discussion
Join the discussion
Sign in to leave a comment or review.
Sign InorCreate an account