That, I thought with satisfaction, would cover my real reason for
wishing to see Archie as well as anything else.
Weston passed again, and gave me a look. That look struck me. It was
just such a look as a policeman might give a loiterer whom he suspects,
yet against whom he has no charge; and I felt my colour mount a little.
That tattling little animal! Little he cared, as long as he had his
joke, that my five shillings was put in jeopardy. For a business college
that styles itself advertisement writer "professor" naturally doesn't
want commissionaires on its staff, and I saw my second dismissal looming
ahead.
Then, with a new and cautious idea in my head, I turned to Kitty again.
"On second thoughts," I said, "_don't_ say anything to Archie about my
wanting an explanation. I'll settle with him. After all, it was bound to
come sooner or later. It doesn't much matter. I'll see to it.... Well,
I'm off. Good-bye, dear. I don't think I shall be able to see you again
till Friday."
And I left her, nodded to Weston, and passed out.
I daresay you guess what my new and cautious idea was. I had something
of the last privacy to say to Archie; it was just as well that I should
have the cloak of comparatively trivial personal remonstrance to cover
it; but this was only part of it. The truth was that my brain had
suddenly taken another of those startling leaps forward. In some
conceivable last event (I was not planning one, you understand; it was
merely that my mind was working somewhere ahead, independently and
beyond my control) it might be necessary that I should have _no_
personal quarrel with him. In such an event none must suppose that our
relation had been other than amicable. Yet I should be overdoing this
(purely anticipatory) prudence to pass over the episode of the sky-blue
uniform entirely. The thing was, or might become, a matter of nicely
measured proportions. Already I was making the slight private affront
serve my turn; presently I might want to make the pardon of that affront
serve my turn also. This kind of thing is what I mean by the creation
of an attitude of mind and "attention to detail."
I made one more attempt to find Archie as I walked to St Pancras, but he
was still not at home. Then I had to run for my train.
I worked in Pettinger's garden that week, carrying water, wheeling
barrows, and filling baskets with fruit as I passed between the canes.
Pettinger was away for two nights, but on the third evening he came up
to me as I was pushing a heavy roller over the lawn and began to talk. I
think he began for the sake of a pleasant word or two, but something I
said seemed to engage his interest, an hour or more passed, and then, as
the phlox and canterbury bells began to glimmer in the twilight, he
suddenly said, "Leave this and come inside--we can talk comfortably
there."
We went in. I shall never forget that night. It was made memorable by
the fact that master and gardener talked till two o'clock in the
morning.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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