When it was in thorough working order, with all the machinery, down to
the subscriptions, complete, Dana Da came from nowhere, with nothing in
his hands, and wrote a chapter in its history which has hitherto been
unpublished. He said that his first name was Dana, and his second was
Da. Now, setting aside Dana of the New York “Sun,” Dana is a Bhil name,
and Da fits no native of India unless you accept the Bengali Dé as the
original spelling. Da is Lap or Finnish; and Dana Da was neither Finn,
Chin, Bhil, Bengali, Lap, Nair, Gond, Romaney, Magh, Bokhariot, Kurd,
Armenian, Levantine, Jew, Persian, Punjabi, Madrasi, Parsee, nor
anything else known to ethnologists. He was simply Dana Da, and declined
to give further information. For the sake of brevity and as roughly
indicating his origin, he was called “The Native.” He might have been
the original Old Man of the Mountains, who is said to be the only
authorized head of the Tea-cup Creed. Some people said that he was; but
Dana Da used to smile and deny any connection with the cult; explaining
that he was an “Independent Experimenter.”
As I have said, he came from nowhere, with his hands behind his back,
and studied the Creed for three weeks; sitting at the feet of those best
competent to explain its mysteries. Then he laughed aloud and went away,
but the laugh might have been either of devotion or derision.
When he returned he was without money, but his pride was unabated. He
declared that he knew more about the Things in Heaven and Earth than
those who taught him, and for this contumacy was abandoned altogether.
His next appearance in public life was at a big cantonment in Upper
India, and he was then telling fortunes with the help of three leaden
dice, a very dirty old cloth, and a little tin box of opium pills. He
told better fortunes when he was allowed half a bottle of whiskey; but
the things which he invented on the opium were quite worth the money. He
was in reduced circumstances. Among other people’s he told the fortune
of an Englishman who had once been interested in the Simla Creed, but
who, later on, had married and forgotten all his old knowledge in the
study of babies and things. The Englishman allowed Dana Da to tell a
fortune for charity’s sake, and gave him five rupees, a dinner, and some
old clothes. When he had eaten, Dana Da professed gratitude, and asked
if there were anything he could do for his host—in the esoteric line.
“Is there any one that you love?” said Dana Da. The Englishman loved his
wife, but had no desire to drag her name into the conversation. He
therefore shook his head.
“Is there any one that you hate?” said Dana Da. The Englishman said that
there were several men whom he hated deeply.
“Very good,” said Dana Da, upon whom the whiskey and the opium were
beginning to tell. “Only give me their names, and I will despatch a
Sending to them and kill them.”
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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