In Both WorldsHolcombe, William H. (William Henry)
Religion
In Both Worlds
Holcombe, William H. (William Henry)
Lazarus, of Bethany, Saint -- Fiction
She hesitated at nothing which would secure her a conquest. She was
unhappy unless many were kneeling at her shrine. She lived upon the breath
of adulation, the music of her own praises, the incense of delirious love.
She wished to absorb everything; she gave nothing in return. She demanded
for herself affection, thought, worship, life. She returned only smiles,
hopes, dreams, shadows. She was a beautiful demon of selfishness. There
were fascination, magic, spiritual death in her sphere; but the soul died
listening to invisible music and dreaming of heaven.
This adoration of men and envy of women was more to be pitied than
admired. She had a mother whose influence was a dark shadow cast upon her
life. Neither beautiful nor gifted herself, she had determined that the
gifts and beauty of her child should be turned to the utmost account. She
had planted a wild ambition in her girlish spirit, as one plants a rose in
a garden. She had nourished it and watered it carefully, until she brought
it to baneful perfection. Her own evil nature was transfused into the
child.
She taught her that power, wealth, fashion, glory, were the true objects
of rational pursuit. She cultivated her vanity, her petulance, her
imperiousness. She basked in the sunshine of her beauty and power. Fatal
parasite! she drew from the virgin tree upon which she fastened, the
sustenance she could not herself extract from the earth and air. The too
pliant pupil accepted and improved all the lessons of the teacher; and
behold the result!
Of the true character of Helena I knew nothing at the time. That discovery
was the result of subsequent information and experience. Nothing occurred
in those blissful days to break the spell of the enchantress. I did,
indeed, once or twice notice the contrast between this Athenian goddess
and my pure and sweet sisters. I did once or twice wonder that Sappho and
Horace should be her favorite poets, and Aspasia her model of female
character. But these shadowy doubts, like the faint threat of clouds which
sometimes appear in the clearest heaven, soon passed away.
Helena, petted and spoiled, set all the regulations of fashion and
propriety at defiance. She did as she pleased, and every one was pleased
with what she did. Not every one; for she was the terror of rigid mothers
and the scandal of prudish maidens. She walked unveiled in the streets.
She made herself conspicuous at the theatre and the racing-grounds. She
visited artists in their studios and poets in their chambers. She received
very questionable visitors at very unseasonable hours. Her dressing-room
even opened its doors to favorite lovers, or to those of whom she wished
to make a convenience. All this was done so boldly, so gracefully, so
naïvely, that no one dared to express a hint against her virtue.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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