Even now, when he comes to the group of ruined cottages at which he has
to leave the road and strike across country into the danger-zone, he is
unpleasantly conscious of a sinking at his heart at the prospect of
another week or so of that infernal existence of shattering noise,
flying death-splinters, and sickening sights and smells. There he will
have to be constantly on the watch, meals and sleep can only be snatched
at precarious intervals, and seldom without disturbance; if there is
anything more nerve-racking than the scream of shells and the hail of
shrapnel it is the lull that follows, when he waits for the enemy's rush
to begin. And yet, the moment he finds himself back in the trench again,
he becomes acclimatised; his men speak of him as a cool and resourceful
young officer under any difficulties, while on more than one occasion he
has done some daring and very useful reconnoitring work that may even
earn him mention in despatches.
But at present he is enjoying one of his hard-earned rests, being
billeted in a farmhouse well away from the firing-line.
Here, having no duties or responsibilities to fix all his thoughts on
the present, he can allow them to dwell on the future for a while.
This desperate and relentless war will come to an end in time--how soon
he knows no more than anyone, but that it will end in victory for
England and her Allies he has no doubt whatever. He is equally sure,
though he could not account for his certainty, that, unlike many a
better fellow than himself, he will live to see his country at peace
once more. But what is he to do then? Even if an opening in the City
presented itself, he could never stick an office again after this. On
the other hand, even if he gets another step or two, he will find it
difficult to live on his pay in a crack cavalry regiment. However, the
Governor will no doubt give him an allowance that will enable him to
stay in the Service--the Mater can be safely trusted to see to that!
So, this question being satisfactorily disposed of, his thoughts, as
usual on these occasions, drift back to Maerchenland, and particularly to
Daphne's parting words on the night he left the Palace.
Would she think, he wonders, that he has done something to justify her
belief in him?
At least she might be pleased if she knew that he could not fairly be
described any longer as a useless rotter.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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