In exitu Israel : $b an historical novel, volume 1 (of 2)Baring-Gould, S. (Sabine)
History
In exitu Israel : $b an historical novel, volume 1 (of 2)
Baring-Gould, S. (Sabine)
France -- History -- Revolution, 1789-1799 -- Fiction
Who can describe the horror of conscience to which Matthias André
was a prey that night? He remained after the departure of Berthier,
for some hours half stupefied, looking at the money which he held
in his hand; then he tied it up in a piece of rag, and placed it in
his bosom; but it was too heavy there, it seemed to weigh him down,
so he fastened it to the belt of his blouse, which he now put on.
To distract his mind, he began to replace in the boxes the clothes
he had drawn from them, but, as he huddled them in, unfolded, they
would not all go in. In the dusk, the garments which were not thus
disposed of looked like bodies of human beings waiting to be buried.
He threw out all the clothes from the trunks again, and began to fold
them, but he did this work clumsily, and there remained still one of
Gabrielle’s dresses uncoffered. The sight of this distressed him, it
reminded him of his daughter too painfully, so he hid it under the
table. Then he could not resist the desire to peer at it where it
lay, and the fancy came upon him that she lay there dead, and that
he had killed her; so he fled up the ladder into his loft, and cast
himself upon his bed.
But there was no rest there. The transactions of that evening haunted
him. He tried to calculate what had best be done with the money; but
no! all he could think of was that this was the price of his child’s
honour and happiness.
Remembering that he had not taken any supper, he descended the ladder
and sought in the dark for a potato pasty; but when he had found it
he could not eat it, for he considered that it had been made by _her_
fingers. He tried to uncork a bottle of wine, but could not find the
screw, so he broke the neck, and drank from it thus; the broken glass
cut his lips, for his hand shook. Gabrielle’s old gown under the
table he could not see, it was too dark, but he was constrained by a
frenzied curiosity to creep towards it, and feel if it were there.
Yes; he felt it, and he shrank from the touch.
The moon shone in at his bedroom window. The light distressed him,
when he returned to his couch; so he tried to block up the window by
erecting his coat against it, supported by a pitchfork and a broom.
It remained thus for just five minutes, and then the structure gave
way, and the moonlight flowed in again.
André could bear the house no longer. He again descended the ladder,
stole past the table, and opening his door, went outside. He took
the path across the foot-bridge and entered the forest. He resolved
to ascend the hill, and see the outside of the château in which lay
his child. The way was dark, the shadows of the pines and beech-trees
obscured it, but the wretched man knew it well, and he walked along
it, trembling with fear. He heard voices in the forest, he saw faces
peeping from behind the tree-boles. The rustle of birds in the
pine-tops made him start; but he held on his way.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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