"If God chooses us to do so, yes! But it must be done by and through
faith, for Jesus' sake, Josephine, otherwise it is of no avail."
She answered not a word.
"What do you say to this, Josephine? Do you not wish us to try and lead
a true Christian life?" his eyes were beseeching, his hand sought hers;
"Josephine!"
She withdrew her hand. "No, you know, I cannot see why I should make my
own life unpleasant; it would benefit no one, and only injure me."
"Do not say that! If only we could try! To believe in Jesus, and to
live together only for the good of others."
"What nonsense! I can't help it, if it hurts your feelings; it is
rubbish to say that one requires to believe in Jesus so as to help the
poor. I don't care, I _will_ say what I think."
"If you believed in Jesus, you would understand the reason why."
"I never said I did not believe in Jesus."
"Ah, Josephine, this kind of faith is worthless! You can't even fathom
what real faith is? I am answerable for this shortcoming of yours; I
who live year out and year in with you, and have got no further!" He
bent down toward her; there were tears in his eyes. "How happy we might
be together if you would but humble yourself before God--you who have
such strength--and whom I love so dearly." He tried to put his arm
gently round her.
"Faugh!" she exclaimed, and sat up.
He jumped up as though he were stung. She sat with flaming eyes--soon
laid down again, both arms under her head; her bosom heaved, she was
much agitated. "I do not know whether God will permit us to continue
living together under these circumstances," he said.
"No, do just as you choose."
He turned from her, for he thought it beneath him to answer. The little
boy groaned in his sleep and tossed uneasily. Tuft looked at him; the
little fellow lay with his arm under him and half-open mouth; Tuft knew
the forehead well, it was his father's over again, and was like his own
too, the hair, the shape of the little hands and fingers, even to the
very nails. But the day might come when even the boy would no longer be
his own, if this continued.
"No, Josephine, things shall not continue in this way. God help us
both; the struggle shall not end thus."
Behind the excessive goodness of his heart, all the breadth and
strength of his nature became evident; she felt this. It moved her
deeply. She heard him wandering up and down in his study, restless, but
with a set purpose. She could not sleep.
The day after Kristen Larssen had become aware of the nature of his
disease, he committed suicide. It shocked people dreadfully; he haunted
the place; hardly anyone dare pass the house. A rumor got abroad that
Kallem had lent Larssen his revolver for this purpose; but it was put
an end to by his wife, by Sören Pedersen, and by Kallem's own
testimony.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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