Karl did not answer; he was excited and only thought of getting away,
Kallem drew him into the room, placed himself in front of him and
looked steadily at him, then put his arm round his neck. Upon this,
Karl burst into tears. He complained that he was altogether impossible;
nobody ever wanted him and he was fit for nothing. For long Kallem
could not get in a word; the other would not let himself be comforted;
his misery and worthlessness were too great, and he was utterly without
talent. He had that morning been playing his latest composition,
originated like none other, out of his own life; the most true that he
could produce, and it had seemed to him to be comical, terribly
comical! Ah ha! thought Kallem, is it that; that is the matter?
And it was that. He could feel in her presence how she judged him!
Kallem saw his mistake in having let him come to them at all; he
thought with horror of all Ragni must formerly have gone through with
him. He had considerable difficulty himself in keeping him in order
just now.
One day he said to her--she had just been asking after Karl--"You
evidently have had more trouble with him than I had the slightest idea
of." She closed her eyes, then opened them again smiling.
Karl did not come to see her any more, did not even ask to be allowed
to do so. He could not play during all this self-torture; Kallem had
almost to threaten him before he could succeed in hearing any of his
own little pieces. At last he agreed, but with closed doors; Ragni,
however, heard them and thought them very pretty; so did Kallem. Karl
became quite happy again at this; some of his self-assurance returned,
and by degrees he became more agreeable.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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