Some time afterwards, as she was lying on her bed one afternoon
and wondering how it would affect her brother if Ragni were to
die--suddenly she saw him. At first she thought nothing of it; but it
grew so excessively distinct. She saw him stretched at full length on a
sofa in his office; she could see the whole room, curtains,
bookshelves, books, desk, two tables, a large armchair, several
half-opened books, and sheets of paper covered with writing lying side
by side.... She saw each sheet, each little detail, and he himself in a
brown suit of clothes which she did not know. But she had never been in
the office since it was furnished, and had never seen that furniture,
nor the curtains and carpet; but she had no doubt whatever that it was
exactly as she saw it. At any other time this would have produced a
strange impression; but now it was all swallowed up in the fact of her
seeing him; for he was so worn and wasted by grief! The closer she
looked at him, the worse it became. In such despair did he seem to be,
that never before in her life, not even when their father died, had
anything so moved her. She saw him tossing about sobbing bitterly;
she saw him holding his hands clasped before him. At last she saw
nothing but him, the agony of his eyes from under the busy brows and
spectacles, and all around him a great waste.
She awoke bathed in cold perspiration and so exhausted that she could
hardly lift a finger. From that time she seemed weighed down by a vague
fear: it deprived her of sleep. Had this to do with her brother, or her
boy? Little Edward lay there beside her, with laboured breathing and a
cough that seemed to come from a distance. His high forehead seemed
empty, his eye restless; his hands were no longer a small boy's rough
little fists, they were ethereal. At times she would hasten up to him,
just to be sure he was there. Ah me! it had come to that; but merciful
heavens--surely she was not going to lose him? She seemed to recognize
her brother's suffering in this of her own, and each time felt as
though they were drawn together in it. Her boy's fate grew to be one
with Ragni's. In wakeful nights and during anxious days, both these
destinies became so entangled and interwoven that to her mind they
seemed to depend on one decision.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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