"You know, Josephine, we must be careful when we pray for non-spiritual
things."
This made her uneasy; she stretched out her hands to him. Everything
she had on was loose and open, the sleeves slipped from her
shoulders--she had grown so fearfully thin--a great fear came over him.
Her wild countenance, delirious words, emaciated form....
"God bless you, Josephine, do not exert yourself too much in prayer,
you might break down completely, you have grown so weak!"
"Do you not believe, then, Ole?" flashed from her like lightning.
"Yes, yes! But suppose God's will be not our will, dear child?" There
arose in him the painful recollection of Andersen's death-bed scene.
"You would pray for a miracle!"
"Yes, yes! of course! Certainly! What else should we pray for?"
"We pray to be granted communion with God, Josephine; at all events
that is what I do. For then all is well, my soul is strengthened, and
often I am in such sore need of it."
"It is written, 'Soften the heart of the Lord.' Is that not right?
Soften the heart of God? Speak, Ole. Soften the heart of God? Answer
me!"
He was kneeling down in front of the stove with a piece of firewood in
one hand and a knife in the other, he would have lighted the fire; she
was so thinly clad; but he stopped now and looked up at her
sorrowfully. "I dare not pray for a miracle, Josephine; I am not
worth." As he was saying this his agitation increased, and he was so
overcome that he had to put down what he had in his hands and cover his
face. But when he looked up again he started to his feet; if she had
had her arms full of the most costly china and had let it fall so that
it was shivered to a thousand pieces ... she could not possibly have
looked different, more paralysed, more horror-struck. Her hands were
outstretched as though over what she had let fall, her eyes were
fastened on him, her senses gone; it seemed as though the next instant
she must fall. Not so however; for when he seized hold of her, she woke
up, collected her thoughts and without further warning said quickly:
"Then we must send for my brother! He only can make her leave our boy
alone." The words proceeding from that strange train of thought were
like a suggestion to him. A thousand times he had thought the same,
Colonel Baier's case had called forth the desire, and many had advised
him to it; but until now he had been ashamed.
A few minutes later, he was on his way to Dr. Kent; who must be
consulted first.
It was a sharp, clear night. By day the roads were in a state of thaw,
but frozen again at night, so he had to be careful; it was not easy,
pursued as he was by his thoughts. What became of the Bible's dogmas of
the creation, the deluge, and all the rest--what was it all worth, when
death was at the door? What then was number one, what number twenty?
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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