He formed the wildest of plans, even wrote over to his cousins in
America, and asked if they could receive a young lady to live with
them. He confided in Rendalen, who at first protested angrily; but at
last Kallem convinced him. Her feeling of individual responsibility
ought to be aroused, she ought to be shown the dangers of continuing
her present life; above all, she ought to be sent away, far away, where
she would have freedom of thought and liberty to develop.... Kallem
gained more and more assurance, and his love grew stronger from all
this self-imposed solicitude. Each time he met her, however short were
the meetings, even though he only bowed to her on the street or in the
corridor, strengthened him in the conviction that she was his, and his
only, and must be set free!
This was before he had said a word to her about it.
Often before had he been in love, and often had pretended without its
being the real thing; but now he had a longing to save, and then
re-form, all that was so pure yet so undeveloped, so talented and yet
so forlorn, it lay in his disposition, this desire, and he gave himself
up to it with all his soul. She, for her part, lost somewhat of her
shyness each time they met; it seemed as though he really were a
comfort to her after her sister left; indeed, unless he were much
mistaken, he was even more than that. At all events, there was one
unmistakable sign; he had told her that he stayed at home in the
evenings on purpose to hear her play, and that he left his door ajar
the better to hear; now she played every evening and often for a long
time.
When he met her out with the children, and took them to the
confectioner's, he had the greatest desire to speak out; but her manner
prevented it. It was her trustful innocence that was the principal
hindrance, and he dared not startle her. All the energy in him drove
him to action; but his love for her lent itself to her wish for a
poetical pastime where love might not be mentioned, although everything
was symbolical of it. There was a charm about their intercourse the
like of which he had never experienced.
On a certain evening, once every week, she took part in a private
concert, or something of the kind, at the house of some of her
husband's relations, the same house, in fact, where she had gone to
that dance. Kallem made his way in to these evenings, through his
fellow-student, her nephew. Of course he went there solely and entirely
so as to be able to walk home with her at night. At this time the snow
was gone and the streets were full of ice. When he told her that he was
going to be there, too, and would be allowed to see her home (at which
she was very pleased), it was an understood thing that he always had
either a sledge or carriage for her.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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