American essays; Convents; Eden Hall (Torresdale, Pa.); Pennell, Elizabeth Robins, 1855-1936; Repplier, Agnes, 1855-1950
Dr. Eckhart gasped. If I had intimated a desire to build a cathedral,
or write an epic, or be Empress of India, he could not have been more
astounded. "L'audace, l'audace, et toujours l'audace." Words failed
him, but, reaching over, he picked up my drawing-board, and held it
aloft as one might hold a standard; held it rigidly, and contemplated
for at least three minutes the wavering outlines of my work. Most of
the class naturally looked at it too. The situation was embarrassing,
and was made no easier when, after this prolonged exposure, my board
was replaced with a thump upon the table, and Dr. Eckhart said in a
falsetto imitation of Adelaide's mincing tones: "Agnes wants to do a
picture, too." Then without another word of criticism--no more was
needed--he moved away, and sat down by Julia Reynolds's side. She alone
had never lifted her eyes during this brief episode, had never deemed
it worthy of attention. I felt grateful for her unconcern, and yet
was humbled by it. It illustrated my sterling insignificance. Nothing
that I did, or failed to do, could possibly interest her, even to the
raising of an eyelid. At least, so I thought then. I was destined to
find out my mistake.
It was through Elizabeth that the new discovery was made. All our
inspirations, all the novel features of our life, owed their origin to
her. The fertility of her mind was inexhaustible. A few days after
this memorable drawing lesson she drew me into a corner at recreation,
and, rolling up her sleeve, showed me her arm. There, scratched on the
smooth white skin, bloody, unpleasant, and distinct, were the figures
150.
I gazed entranced. A hundred and fifty was Madame Dane's number (the
nuns as well as the girls all had numbers), and for months past it had
been the emblem of the cult. We never saw it without emotion. When it
stood at the head of a page, we always encircled it in a heart. When
we found it in our arithmetics, we encircled it in a heart. We marked
all our books with these three figures set in a heart, and we cut them
upon any wooden substance that came to hand,--not our polished and
immaculate desks, but rulers, slate borders, and the swings. And now,
happiest of happy devices, Elizabeth had offered her own flesh as a
background for these beloved numerals.
The spirit of instant emulation fired my soul. I thought of Julia's
number, twenty-one, and burned with desire to carve it monumentally
upon myself. "What did you do it with?" I asked.
"A pin, a penknife, and a sharpened match," answered Elizabeth proudly.
I shuddered. These surgical instruments did not invite confidence; but
not for worlds would I have acknowledged my distaste. Besides, it is
sweet to suffer for those we love. I resolved to out-herod Herod, and
use my hand instead of my arm as a commemorative tablet. There was a
flamboyant publicity about this device which appealed to my Latin blood.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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