He was surprised himself at the stolid, torpid, icy calmness with which
he was able to look back on the frightful scene, as if the apparition
of the night, that yesterday made his hair stand on end, had no power
over him in broad daylight. He thought about the loss of his faithful
old companion too, as something that had happened long ago. But he was
pained by the thought that he had let the faithful animal be buried in
his masquerade trappings, with the gaudy ribbons and the guitar on his
back. He even went so far as to seriously deliberate whether he should
not have the grave opened again and cleared of all the tawdry finery.
However, he put it off until evening; and when evening came he had much
more pressing matters to attend to.
He was firmly resolved to put an end to this condition of affairs; to
tear the ever-rankling and festering barb from out the wound, let it
cost what it might. How this could best be done he did not know as yet.
But upon one point his mind was definitely made up; he owed it to Julie
to render a repetition of such scenes impossible.
He left the studio and went into the city. He directed his steps to the
hotel where the Russian countess was staying. To his amazement, he
learned there that no one had ever heard of this Madame St.-Aubain,
which was the name Rosenbusch had given him the preceding evening. The
porter did, indeed, remember a person such as Jansen described; the
lady spent the whole day with the countess no later than yesterday. But
she was not stopping in the hotel, and he had not learned what her name
was.
He would speak about it to the countess herself: could he see her for a
moment? asked the sculptor.
The porter looked at his watch. It was only nine o'clock; He had orders
to admit no one before eleven.
So there was nothing left for him but to be patient, hard as it was.
Wandering about without any definite plan, his heart led him to where
Julie lived. But, the moment he saw the house in the distance, he
turned back. It was impossible for him to look her in the face again
until he could say to her: "It is all over; you have nothing more to
fear from my past; the spectre has been sent back among the dead."
He went into the Pinakothek, where at this time of the year and day the
large, unheated halls stand empty. He stretched himself on the sofa
that stands in the centre of the immense room, and looked over the
walls with half closed eyes. The power and warmth of life of these
noble pictures acted, without his knowing it, upon his spirits, and his
mood continued to grow quieter and more gentle, until at last he fell
fast asleep, his hat pushed down so low over his eyes that the
attendants and the few visitors took him for an exceedingly studious
painter, who made use of his hat-brim to protect him from the
reflection of the light from above.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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