"Because--but no, it is useless to say any more about it. Do tell me,
for Heaven's sake! would you have believed this Monsieur Ollivier to
have been capable of such a vile performance, such a piece of silly
defiance--like a corps-student 'renowning it?' A man that only a little
while ago--"
"No dodging, Herr von Rosebud. You have told me too much for you to try
and put a seal on your lips now. As a woman, and as your true, sincere
friend, it is not only my right but my duty to be curious. Out with
it--who is this latest flame?--and if I can aid you by word or deed--"
Her voice grew unsteady again. She did not dare to look at him. He,
too, let his eyes wander around the studio in another direction.
"If you positively insist upon knowing," he stammered, at last--"and,
after all, there's nothing to be lost or gained by my telling you--the
person of whom I speak is the only female being to whose peace of mind
I can't imagine myself in any way dangerous--I couldn't imagine it even
in a dream. It is impossible for her to feel toward me either love or
hate. She has given me unmistakable proof of this--partly by constantly
scolding, railing, and mocking at me, partly by the kindest and most
brotherly friendship--such as one only shows to a person when one is
absolutely certain that one can never fall in love with him. I ought to
have been warned by this, and have taken better care of my heart. But,
just because such a relation was quite new to me, I fell into it
blindfold, and now I am plunged up to my ears in the most hopeless,
most undying, and most imprudent passion. There you have my confession.
I think you will dispense with my mentioning to you the name of the
person in question. But I won't detain you longer. I see you have your
palette ready to go to work. _Adieu!_"
He turned toward the door. But he had not crossed the threshold when
his name reached his ear--and his heart, too, because of the unusually
tender tone in which it was pronounced. He stood as if rooted to the
spot, and waited to hear what more the voice would say. But he had to
wait a good while, so he spent the intervening time in observing the
wall, which separated this room from his own, and which was large
enough to easily admit of a door being cut through.
"Dear Rosenbusch," the voice began again, at last, eyen a little more
tenderly than before. "What you have said is so new, so entirely
unexpected to me--and then, again, so confusing--come, let us talk
about it like a couple of sensible people and good comrades--"
He again made a movement as though he were going. The beginning did not
strike him as being particularly consoling. "Sensible discussion and
good-fellowship!"--if she had nothing better than that to offer him--
"No," she continued; "hear me out, first. You are always so hasty,
Rosenbusch! If you will only promise me not to be offended at anything
I say--for I would like to be perfectly frank. Will you promise me?"
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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