"I will not recount to you the ridiculous details of our pride and
self-complacency. Enough! This audacious structure of conceit and
Phariseeism received a blow one day that sent it tumbling in hopeless
ruin about our heads. One evening, quite late, while I was sitting on
my scaffolding in the palace, painting, my wife tottered up the steps
looking like a picture of despair. She had not even stopped to reflect
whether there were others about us who might overhear our conversation;
her horror at the terrible discovery had so unbalanced her clear mind
that she could not wait until I came home, but ran into a public
building after me to tell me that our daughter--the only child we had,
besides a fine, sturdy boy--a girl on whom I had lavished all my
fatherly pride--that she, our jewel, so loved and treasured-- But I
must retrace my steps a little, so that you may understand all this.
"About this time my wife having come into possession of a very
considerable fortune, we had begun, contrary to the Munich custom, to
keep open house. As model beings, for such we fancied ourselves to be,
we even regarded it as a sort of duty not to hide our light under
a bushel. And then, besides, it was a pleasant enough thing to
do, and even now I can't condemn our having rebelled against the
narrow-hearted, inhospitable custom of the place, and admitted all
manner of good friends to enjoy our domestic happiness with us. But
even here our pride in our daughter played an important _role_. The
girl was not beautiful, nor even what one would generally call pretty;
she had inherited my flat features, little eyes, and large mouth. But
something sparkled in those eyes that attracted everybody; and when the
large red mouth, with its white teeth, expanded in a laugh that seemed
to come straight from the heart, it was impossible to help feeling
merry too. She had a remarkable talent for communicating her high
spirits to her circle of young people, and this mirthfulness often
reached the wildest extravagance; though, with her, it never went
beyond proper limits, so that I, in my blind adoration, was wont to say
to my wife, when she occasionally shook her head over it: 'Let the
child alone, her nature will protect her better than all our art.'
"I knew that others thought differently; indeed, I was often obliged to
listen to warnings, more or less distinct, from this or that friend, to
draw the reins tighter; a young untamed thing like her would be sure to
bolt some day or other. For hints like these I had always the same
superior smile, and only told my wife of them that I might laugh at the
Philistinism of my colleagues.
"The daughter of such a thoroughly well-balanced person, surely one
could confidently leave her to herself, in cases where there would have
been danger for weaker natures.
"And now came the discovery of our shame! Now came the fearful fall
from that height to which we had soared in our dreams!
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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