"So I continued to grow more idle, more contemplative, and, if you
like, wiser; except that I myself felt little respect, and sometimes
even disgust and loathing, for any wisdom that could haunt such a
useless wreck of a man."
The old man spoke these last words in such a mournful voice, and hung
his head so low upon his breast, that Schnetz could not help feeling
the warmest pity for him. At the same time he asked himself with
amazement how it could have been possible for them all to have
associated with this terribly-tried man for so many long years without
having taken the trouble to find out anything about his history.
He now bluntly said as much, inveighing in his bitter way against the
wretched state of society in which they lived.
"A fine Paradise!" he growled out, half to himself. "We have a great
idea of how necessary we are to one another, and yet the few fellow-men
who are worth troubling ourselves about stand in no nearer relation to
us than the wild animals did to our first parents. Though, to be sure,
in your case we ought not to bear the chief blame. Why did you yourself
never feel a desire to break the ice between us? It would have been a
healthier thing for you, if you had long ago formed an intimacy with
one of us."
The old man raised his head again, but still kept his eyes shut tight,
and groped blindly for Schnetz's hand, which he pressed warmly.
"Perhaps it is not yet too late," he stammered, in a trembling voice.
"I hope it may still be in your power to assist me in finding a place
in life again.
"One morning about a fortnight ago a little sealed packet was brought
to me by a street messenger. It bore no address, but when I saw the
seal I felt a terrible shock. I recognized it as one I had once given
to my daughter--a cornelian, in which was cut an Egyptian scarabaeus. I
asked the man who had given it to him. A girl, he said, who had given
him an exact description of my lodging and appearance; and she had also
known my name--my present one--which I have no reason to suppose my
lost daughter had ever even heard of. I was so beside myself with
alarm, joy, and a thousand indescribable sensations that I did not
break the seal at first; only one thing seemed clear to me in my
confusion--before all else I must find the person who had sent the
messenger. Did he know where she was to be found? I asked. But she had
engaged him in the street, had paid in advance, and had then
immediately disappeared round the next corner. And then he described
her! It was my lost one, feature for feature, and yet it could not be
she herself, for this one must have been about as old as my daughter
was when I cast her off. So it must be the _child_ of my lost darling!
And to think that she, too, should flee from me like her poor mother!
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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