Egypt -- Description and travel -- Humor; London (England) -- Description and travel -- Humor; Voyages and travels -- Humor
This had a most assuring sound, so we made no resistance. For several
hours he marched ahead of us, proclaiming our social importance and
ordering people out of the way, and every ten minutes he led us into
some carefully concealed trap and tried to separate us from our
piasters. All the time he went through the motions of defending our
interests and fighting back those who would defraud us. For instance,
in the bazaar. In a thoughtless moment I had said that I wished to
purchase an ebony walking-stick. He led us to a dealer in
walking-sticks, and here the following drama was played for our
benefit:--
Hassim (to dealer)--This distinguished gentleman wishes to buy an ebony
walking-stick. Show him your best goods and let the price be fair or
never more shall I bring customers to your vile shop. (To the crowd
jostling in upon us)--Stand back! Do not crowd upon the honourable
gentlemen from America.
Dealer (showing an ebony stick with a badly carved handle of bone,
supposed to be ivory)--Ah, see! Yes! Verra good stick! Is it not?
Verra cheap.
I (looking at it coldly and shaking my head as if in disapproval)--How
much?
Dealer--Verra cheap--only twenty shilling.
Hassim--Wha-a-t! (He rushes upon the dealer, smites him on the chest
with his open hand and then tries to choke him). Oh, dog! Oh, unclean
animal! Twenty shilling! (To us) Come! Let us go away. He is bad
man. Come!
Dealer (entreatingly)--You make me offer. How much you give?
Hassim--Oh, child of darkness! Oh, crawling crocodile! You are trying
to cheat the high-born visitors.
Dealer (cringingly)--How much you give?
Hassim (to me)--Come, I will speak with you alone. (He leads me away
from the crowd and talks to me in a husky whisper.) This man is bad
man. Do not pay him twenty bob. No one is looking. You slip the
money to me and I will buy it for fifteen.
Now, fifteen shillings is $3.75 in real money, and the stick is worth a
dollar at the most extravagant valuation, so I say to Hassim, "Are you
in on this?"
He does not understand, but he looks at me as if hurt or disappointed,
and then says, "I try to get it for ten. Wait here."
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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