Egypt -- Description and travel -- Humor; London (England) -- Description and travel -- Humor; Voyages and travels -- Humor
In all accepted records discovered up to this time Rameses has received
nothing but praise. Why? Because all the records were doctored by
Rameses himself. He was the great builder of Egypt and all over the
walls of every building that he erected he had his picture and tales of
his mighty achievements blazoned forth in bright colors like the row of
banners in front of a side show. Wherever in Egypt he could find a
large smooth-faced rock he would engage a member of the Royal Academy
to sculp something about Rameses, and he would always stand and look
over the sculptor's shoulder to make sure that the king didn't get the
worst of it. If the army of Rameses suffered a defeat at the hands of
the Hittites, did any mention of the fact find its way into the
inscriptions? Most assuredly not. Rameses had the hieroglyphs report
that he made a masterly manoeuvre in order to develop the strength of
the enemy and then retired to a new and more strategic position.
[Illustration: _To make sure the King didn't get the worst of it_]
We cannot discover from the old inscriptions that any Egyptian army
ever suffered defeat, and yet it has been learned from other sources
that now and then an invading army had the whole native population
running foot races up and down the Nile. However, it was not
considered good form for historians to mention these painful incidents.
The rate of mortality among those who criticised the administration was
exactly 100 per cent. It is because all of the familiar records are
known to have been under censorship that the papyrus discovered by me
at Luxor possesses a most startling interest.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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