China -- History -- Revolution, 1911-1912 -- Fiction; Love stories; River boats -- Fiction; Yangtze River (China) -- Fiction
“_I'm sailing Saturday. Do you feel that you could see me for a few
moments?_”
The reply, within the hour, bade him come. He found her in Western
dress---a tailored suit, very simple; her glistening black hair parted
smoothly--as he would always most vividly remember it--gently sad in
manner, yet able to smile. She would be like that, come to think of
it; not crushed by the tragedy, not sunken in the grief that, among
Westerners, is so often a sort of histrionic egotism.... They sat in a
tiled courtyard among dahlias. More than ever like a proud young Briton
was Rocky.
“It is good of you to see me.” Thus he began.... “I couldn't go without
a word.”
She murmured then: “Of course not.”
“I want you to know, too, that I am coming to see”--he had to pause;
in this new phase of sober young manhood he had not yet achieved steady
self-control.
She broke the silence with a question about the revolution. It is to
his credit that he talked, stumbling only at first, clearly. And as the
strain of the meeting gradually relaxed, he became aware of her sobered
but still intense absorption in the struggle; aware, too, increasingly,
of her strong gift of what is called personality. Her mind was quick,
bright, eager--better, it seemed (he had to fight bitterness here)
than his own. And she was impersonal to a degree that he couldn't yet
attain--couldn't, in fact, quite understand. He had to speak slowly and
carefully; feeling his way with a dogged determination among uprushing
emotions, moved as never before by the charm of appearance and
manner and speech of which she was so prettily unconscious.... He had
come--perhaps with more than a touch in him of (again) that Western
histrionism, the intense overstressing of the individual and his
feelings--as a man who was effacing himself that the woman he loved
might be happy with another man. Confused with this wholly unconscious
call upon the sympathies, undoubtedly, was an unphrased incredulity that
she--so strongly a person, fine and courageous and outstanding as he
knew her to be--could accept this being almost casually left as part
of a legacy to that other man. It was incredible. Unless she loved
the other man.... So he came around again to the personal; unaware, of
course, that he was feeling inevitably with his strongly individualistic
race. Even when she dwelt on race, a little later in their talk, he
found no light. He couldn't have; for the American seldom can see what
lies outside himself.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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