He had nearly uttered the words; but he did not. He felt that his
mission that morning was too serious to be risked without the most
cautious introduction. Besides, she was in far too good spirits to have
such a suggestion made to her. He felt instinctively that, in her
present mood, she would certainly laugh at him—the most frightful
catastrophe that can happen to a man under the circumstances. And Count
Schönstein had sufficient acquaintance with actresses to know, that
while they have the most astonishing capacity for emotion, if their
sympathies be properly excited, there are no people who, in cold blood,
can so accurately detect the ridiculous in a man’s exterior. An actress
in love forgets everything but her love; an actress not in love has the
cruellest eye for the oddities or defects of figure and costume.
At the present moment, Count Schönstein felt sure that if he spoke of
love, and marriage, and so forth, Miss Brunel would be looking at the
rose in his button-hole, or scanning his stiff necktie and collar, or
the unblushing corpulence of his waist. In his heart he wished he had
no rose in his button-hole.
It would be very easy to make fun of this poor Count (and he was aware
of the fact himself) as he stood there, irresolute, diffident, anxious.
But there was something almost pathetic as well as comic in his
position. Consider how many vague aspirations were now concentrated
upon this visit. Consider how he had thought about it as he had dressed
himself many a morning, as he had gone to bed many a night; how, with a
strange sort of loyalty, he had striven to exalt his motives and
persuade himself that he was quite disinterested; how the dull pursuit
of his life, position and influence, had been tinged with a glow of
sentiment and romance by meeting this young girl.
"She has no friends," he said to himself, many a time, "neither have I.
Why should not we make common cause against the indifference and hauteur
of society? I can make a good husband—I would yield in all things to
her wishes. And away down in Kent together—we two—even if we should
live only for each other——"
The Count tried hard to keep this view of the matter before his eyes.
When sometimes his errant imagination would picture his marriage with
the poor actress,—then his claim, on behalf of his wife, for the estates
and title of the Marquis of Knottingley’s daughter—then the surprise,
the chatter of the clubs, the position in society he would assume, the
money he would have at his command, the easy invitations to _battues_ he
could dispense like so many worthless coppers among the young lords and
venerable baronets—and so forth, and so forth—he dwelt upon the prospect
with an unholy and ashamed delight, and strove to banish it from his
mind as a temptation of the devil.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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