"Nothing. What can I say, Lady Jane? I am sure he must have been
joking; and, if not, he ought to have been. At the same time, I don’t
laugh at the Count himself, mother, but at his position a few minutes
ago."
"And as you laugh at that, you laugh at the notion of becoming his
wife."
The smile died away from the girl’s face, and for some time she sate and
gazed wistfully before her. Then she said—
"You ought to be able to say what I ought to do, mother. I did not say
no, I did not say yes; I was too afraid to say either. And now, if we
are to talk seriously about it, I am quite as much afraid. Tell me what
to do, Lady Jane."
"Is it so entirely a matter of indifference that you can accept my
advice?"
"It is quite a matter of indifference," said the girl, calmly.
"Do you love him, Annie?" said the old woman.
For one brief second the girl’s thoughts flashed to the man whom she did
love; but they returned with only a vague impression of pain and doubt.
She had not had time to sit down and reason out her course of duty. She
could only judge as yet by the feelings awakened by the Count’s
proposal, and the pictures which it exhibited to her mind.
"Do I love him, mother?" she said, in a low voice. "I like him very
well, and I am sure he is very fond of me; I am quite sure of that."
"And what do you say yourself about it?"
"What can I say? If I marry him," she said, coldly, "it will give him
pleasure, and I know he will be kind to me and to you. It is his
wish—not mine. We should not be asking or receiving a favour, mother.
I suppose he loves me as well as he loves any one; and I suppose I can
make as good a wife as any one else."
There was in this speech the faint indication of a bitterness having its
root in a far deeper bitterness, which had suggested the whole tone of
this interview. When Mrs. Christmas thought the girl was laughing
cruelly at a man who had paid her the highest compliment in his power,
when she saw this girl exhibiting an exaggerated heartlessness in
talking of the proposed marriage as a marriage of convenience, she did
not know that this indifference and heartlessness were but the
expression of a deep, and hopeless, and despairing love.
"Poverty is not a nice thing, mother; and until I should have
established myself as a teacher of music, we should have to be almost
beggars. The Count offers us a pleasant life; and I dare say I can make
his dull house a little more cheerful to him. It is a fair bargain. He
did not ask me if I loved him: probably he did not see the necessity any
more than I do. What he proposes will be a comfortable arrangement for
all of us."
Mrs. Christmas looked at the calm, beautiful, sad face, and said
nothing.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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