This sobered him. 'I'll try,' said my uncle; and it was quite hard not
to laugh at the change in our positions--I the grey-beard now, the wise
rebuker, he the hot-headed yet well-intentioned young relative.
_October 11th._
I think guests ought to like each other; love each other if they prefer
it, but at least like. They too have their duties, and one of them is to
resist nourishing aversions; or, if owing to their implacable
dispositions they can't help nourishing them, oughtn't they to try very
hard not to show it? They should consider the helpless position of the
hostess, she who, at any rate theoretically, is bound to be equally
attached to them all.
Before my uncle came it is true we had begun to fester, but we festered
nicely. Mrs. Barnes and I did it with every mark of consideration and
politeness. We were ladies. Uncle Rudolph is no lady; and this little
house, which I daresay looks a picture of peace from outside with the
snow falling on its roof and the firelight shining in its windows,
seethes with elemental passions. Fear, love, anger--they all dwell in it
now, all brought into it by him, all coming out of the mixture, so
innocuous one would think, so likely, one would think, to produce only
the fruits of the spirit,--the mixture of two widows and one clergyman.
Wonderful how much can be accomplished with small means. Also, most
wonderful the centuries that seem to separate me from those July days
when I lay innocently on the grass watching the clouds pass over the
blue of the delphinium tops, before ever I had set eyes on Mrs. Barnes
and Dolly, and while Uncle Rudolph, far away at home and not even
beginning to think of a passport, was being normal in his Deanery.
He has, I am sure, done what he promised and tried to be kinder to Mrs.
Barnes, and I can only conclude he was not able to manage it, for I see
no difference. He glowers and glowers, and she immovably knits. And in
spite of the silence that reigns except when, for a desperate moment, I
make an effort to be amusing, there is a curious feeling that we are
really living in a state of muffled uproar, in a constant condition of
barely suppressed brawl. I feel as though the least thing, the least
touch, even somebody coughing, and the house will blow up. I catch
myself walking carefully across the hall so as not to shake it, not to
knock against the furniture. How secure, how peaceful, of what a great
and splendid simplicity do those July days, those pre-guest days, seem
now!
_October 12th._
I went into Dolly's bedroom last night, crept in on tiptoe because there
is a door leading from it into Mrs. Barnes's room, caught hold firmly
of her wrist, and led her, without saying a word and taking infinite
care to move quietly, into my bedroom. Then, having shut her in, I said,
'What are you going to do about it?'
She didn't pretend not to understand. The candour of Dolly's brow is an
exact reflection of the candour of her mind.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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