The tone of Valley society, at least so far as it was a reflection of
Johnson Hall, had, she said, deteriorated wofully since the old baronet's
death. A reign of extravagance and recklessness both as to money and
temper--of gambling, racing, hard drinking, low sports, and coarse
manners--had set in. The friends of Sir John were now a class by
themselves, having no relations to speak of with the body of Whig farmers,
merchants, inn-keepers, and the like. Rather it seemed to please the Tory
clique to defy the good opinion of their neighbors, and show by very
excess and license contempt for their judgment. Some of the young men whom
I had known were of late sadly altered. She spoke particularly of Walter
Butler, whose moodiness had now been inflamed, by dissipation and by the
evil spell which seemed to hang over everything in the Valley, into a
sinister and sombre rage at the Whigs, difficult to distinguish sometimes
from madness.
In all this I found but one reflection--rising again and again as she
spoke--and this was that she was telling me, by inference, the story of
her own unhappiness.
Daisy would never have done this consciously--of that I am positive. But
it was betrayed in every line of her face, and my anxious ear caught it in
every word she uttered as to the doings of the Johnson party. Doubtless
she did not realize how naturally and closely I would associate her
husband with that party.
Underneath all our talk there had been, on both sides, I dare say, a sense
of awkward constraint. There were so many things which we must not speak
of--things which threatened incessantly to force their way to the surface.
I thought of them all, and wondered how much she knew of the events that
preceded my departure--how much she guessed of the heart-breaking grief
with which I had seen her go to another. It came back to me now, very
vividly, as I touched the satin fold of her gown with my shoe, and said to
myself, "This is really she."
The two years had not passed so uncomfortably, it is true; work and
pre-occupation and the change of surroundings had brought me back my peace
of mind and taken the keen edge from my despair--which was to have been
life-long, and had faded in a month. Yet now her simple presence--with the
vague added feeling that she was unhappy--sufficed to wipe out the whole
episode of Albany, and transport me bodily back to the old Valley days. I
felt again all the anguish at losing her, all the bitter wrath at the
triumph of my rival--emphasized and intensified now by the implied
confession that he had proved unworthy.
To this gloom there presently succeeded, by some soft, subtle transition,
the consciousness that it was very sweet to sit thus beside her. The air
about us seemed suddenly filled with some delicately be-numbing influence.
The chattering, smiling, moving throng was here, close upon us, enveloping
us in its folds. Yet we were deliciously isolated. Did she feel it as
I did?
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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