"I am bleeding to death," he said, with a voice obviously weakened since
his last preceding words. "So much the better for you. You would like it
so. You are not bold enough to knock me on the head, or merciful enough to
go about your business and leave me in peace. I ought to be above bandying
words with you; nor would I if it did not take my mind from my hurt. You
are right--you have always been my enemy. You were jealous of me as a
little boy. You had an apron, and you envied me my coat. When, like a
fool, I came again to this cursed wilderness, your sour face rose up in
front of me like an ugly dream. It was my first disagreeable thing. Still
you were jealous of me, for I was a gentleman; you were a skin-pedler. I
married a maiden who had beauty and wit enough to grace my station, even
though she had not been born to it. It was you who turned her mind against
me, and incited her to unhappiness in the home I had given her. It was you
who made a damned rebel out of her, and drove me into going to Canada. She
has ever been more your friend than mine. You are of her sort. An English
gentleman could rightly have had no part or lot with either of you. Go
back to her now--tell her you left me here waiting for the wolves--and
that my dying message was--"
He followed with some painfully bitter and malignant words which I have
not the heart to set down here in cold blood against him.
"Let me see your wound," I said, when he had finished and sank back,
exhausted.
I knelt beside him and opened his green coat, and the fine, ruffled shirt
beneath it. Both were soaked with blood on the whole right side, but the
soft cambric had, in a measure, checked the flow. He made no resistance,
and I spread over the ugly aperture some of the plaster with which my
mother had fitted me out, and bound it fast, with some difficulty, by
passing my sash under his body and winding it about his chest.
He kept his eyes closed while I was doing this. I could not tell whether
he was conscious or not. Nor could I explain to myself why I was
concerning myself with his wound. Was it to save, if possible, his life?
Was it to lengthen out his term of torture here in the great final
solitude, helplessly facing the end, with snarling wolves and screaming
kites for his death-watch? I scarcely knew which.
I try now to retrace the courses by which my thoughts, in the confused
searchings of those few moments, reached finally a good conclusion; but
the effort is beyond my powers. I know only that all at once it became
quite clear to my mind that I must not leave my enemy to die. How much of
this was due to purely physical compassion for suffering, how much to the
higher pleadings of humanity, how much to the feeling that his taunts of
baseness must be proved untrue, I cannot say.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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