We tried to rouse Cross sufficiently to enable him to eat, and in a small
way succeeded; but the effect upon him was scarcely beneficial, it
appeared to us. His fever increased, and when we started out once more
under our burden, the motion inseparable from our progress affected his
head, and he began to talk incoherently to himself.
Nothing can be imagined more weird and startling than was the sound of
this voice above us, when we first heard it. Both Enoch and I
instinctively stopped. For the moment we could not tell whence the sound
came, and I know not what wild notions about it flashed through my mind.
Even when we realized that it was the fever-loosed tongue of our companion
which spoke, the effect was scarcely less uncanny. Though I could not see
him, the noise of his ceaseless talking came from a point close to my
head; he spoke for the most part in a bold, high voice--unnaturally raised
above the pitch of his recent faint waking utterances. Whenever a fallen
log or jutting bowlder gave us a chance to rest our load without the
prospect of too much work in hoisting it again, we would set the canoe
down, and that moment his lips would close. There seemed to be some occult
connection between the motion of our walking and the activity of his
disordered brain.
For a long time--of course in a very disconnected way--he babbled about
his mother, and of people, presumably English, of whom I knew nothing,
save that one name, Digby, was that of his elder brother Then there began
to be interwoven with this talk stray mention of Daisy's name, and soon
the whole discourse was of her.
The freaks of delirium have little significance, I believe, as clews to
the saner courses of the mind, but he spoke only gently in his imaginary
speeches to his wife. I had to listen, plodding wearily along with aching
shoulders under the burden of the boat, to fond, affectionate words
addressed to her in an incessant string. The thread of his ideas seemed to
be that he had arrived home, worn-out and ill, and that he was resting his
head upon her bosom. Over and over again, with tiresome iteration, he kept
entreating plaintively: "You _are_ glad to see me? You do _truly_ forgive
me, and love me?"
Nothing could have been sadder than to hear him. I reasoned that this
ceaseless dwelling upon the sweets of a tender welcome doubtless reflected
the train of his thoughts during the journey down from the battle-field.
He had forborne to once mention Daisy's name during the whole voyage, but
he must have thought deeply, incessantly of her--in all likelihood with a
great softening of heart and yearning for her compassionate nursing. It
was not in me to be unmoved by this. I declare that as I went painfully
forward, with this strangely pathetic song of passion repeating itself in
my ears, I got fairly away from the habit of mind in which my own love for
Daisy existed, and felt myself only an agent in the working out of some
sombre and exalted romance.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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