Yes--I was returned a man, with the pride and the self-reliance and the
heart of a man. As I thought upon myself, it was to recognize that the
swaddlings of youth had fallen from me. I had never been conscious of
their pressure; I had not rebelled against them, nor torn them asunder.
Yet somehow they were gone, and my breast swelled with a longer, deeper
breath for their absence. I had almost wept with excess of boyish feeling
when I left the Valley--my fond old mother and protector. I gazed upon it
now with an altogether variant emotion--as of one coming to take
possession. Ah, the calm elation of that one moment, there alone on the
knoll, with the sinking September sun behind me, and in front but the
trifle of sixty miles of river route--when I realized that I was a man!
Perhaps it was at this moment that I first knew I loved Daisy; perhaps it
had been the truly dominant thought in my mind for months, gathering vigor
and form from every tender, longing memory of the Cedars. I cannot decide,
nor is it needful that I should. At least now my head was full of the
triumphant thoughts that I returned successful and in high favor with my
companion, that I had a flattering career opened for me, that the people
at home would be pleased with me--and that I should marry Daisy.
These remaining twenty leagues grew really very tedious before they were
done with. We went down with the boats this time. I fear that Mr. Cross
found me but poor company these last three days, for I sat mute in the bow
most of the time, twisted around to look forward down the winding course,
as if this would bring the Cedars nearer. I had not the heart to talk.
"Now she is winding the yarn for my aunt," I would think; "now she is
scattering oats for the pigeons, or filling Mr. Stewart's pipe, or running
the candles into the moulds. Dear girl, does she wonder when I am coming?
If she could know that I was here--here on the river speeding to
her--what, would she think?"
And I pictured to myself the pretty glance of surprise, mantling into a
flush of joyous welcome, which would greet me on her face, as she ran
gladly to my arms. Good old Mr. Stewart, my more than father, would stare
at me, then smile with pleasure, and take both my hands in his, with warm,
honest words straight from his great heart. What an evening it would be
when, seated snugly around the huge blaze--Mr. Stewart in his arm-chair to
the right, Daisy nestling on the stool at his knee and looking up into my
face, and Dame Kronk knitting in the chimney-shadow to the left--I should
tell of my adventures! How goodly a recital I could make of them, though
they had been even tamer than they were, with such an audience! And how
happy, how gratified they would be when I came to the climax, artfully
postponed, of Mr. Cross's offer to me of the Albany agency!
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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