English fiction -- 19th century; Victoria, Queen of Great Britain, 1819-1901 -- Fiction
‘I care a good deal more than I can easily say. Your position is a very
hard one,--harder than mine. But I’m going away to work for your future.
I see clearly that it’s the best thing I could do. Whether Vawdrey’s
ideas come to anything or not, I shall make profit out of the journey;
I mean to write,--I think it’s all I can do to any purpose,--and the
material I shall get together over there will give me a start. Don’t
think I am cold-hearted because I talk in this way; if I broke down, so
much the worse for both of us. The time has come for serious work.’
‘But we shan’t lose my money. I’ve made up my mind we shan’t.’
‘It’s impossible for you to guard against every danger. We must be
prepared for the worst, and that responsibility rests on me. Try and
keep your mind at ease; whatever happens, to protect you is my duty, and
I shall not fail in it.’
Speaking thus, Tarrant felt the glow of virtue. His words were
perfectly sincere, but had reference to a future which his thoughts left
comfortably vague.
They were to meet again, probably for the definite parting, three days
hence. Tarrant, whose desire for escape had now become incontrollable,
used the intervening time in a rush of preparations. He did not debate
with himself as to the length of his sojourn in the West Indies; that
must be determined by circumstances. Explicitly he had avoided a promise
on the subject. What money he possessed he would take with him; it might
be to his interest, for Nancy’s likewise, to exceed the term of
absence provided for in his stipulations with Mr. Vawdrey. But all he
deliberately thought of was the getting away. Impatient with Nancy,
because of the vagaries resultant from her mental and physical state,
he himself exhibited a flagrant triumph of instinct over reason. Once
in enjoyment of liberty, he would reflect, like a practical man, on the
details of his position, review and recognise his obligations, pay his
debt to honour; but liberty first of all. Not his the nature to accept
bondage; it demoralised him, made him do and say things of which he
was ashamed. Only let him taste the breezes of ocean, and the healthful
spirit which is one with rectitude would again inspire him.
Much to his surprise, he neither saw nor heard from Nancy until the hour
appointed. She came very punctually. On opening the door to her, with an
air of resolute cheerfulness, he saw something in her face that removed
the necessity for playing a part. It was the look which had so charmed
him in their love-days, the indescribable look, characteristic of Nancy,
and of her alone; a gleam between smile and laughter, a glance mingling
pride with submission, a silent note of personality which thrilled the
senses and touched the heart.
‘What now?’ he asked, holding her hand and gazing at her. ‘Some good
news?’
‘None that I know of. How hot your room is! Why, you look glad to see
me!’
‘Was I ever anything else?’
She answered him with a smile.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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