English fiction -- 19th century; Victoria, Queen of Great Britain, 1819-1901 -- Fiction
He had purposed no such thing. Miss. Nancy Lord was not by any means the
kind of person that entered his thoughts when they turned to marriage.
He regarded her as in every respect his inferior. She belonged to the
social rank only just above that of wage-earners; her father had a small
business in Camberwell; she dressed and talked rather above her station,
but so, now-a-days, did every daughter of petty tradesfolk. From
the first he had amused himself with her affectation of intellectual
superiority. Miss. Lord represented a type; to study her as a sample of
the pretentious half-educated class was interesting; this sort of girl
was turned out in thousands every year, from so-called High Schools;
if they managed to pass some examination or other, their conceit grew
boundless. Craftily, he had tested her knowledge; it seemed all sham.
She would marry some hapless clerk, and bring him to bankruptcy by the
exigencies of her ‘refinement.’
So had he thought of Nancy till a few months ago. But in the
spring-time, when his emotions blossomed with the blossoming year, he
met the girl after a long interval, and saw her with changed eyes. She
had something more than prettiness; her looks undeniably improved. It
seemed, too, that she bore herself more gracefully, and even talked
with, at times, an approximation to the speech of a lady. These
admissions signified much in a man of Tarrant’s social prejudice--so
strong that it exercised an appreciable effect upon his every-day
morals. He began to muse about Miss. Lord, and the upshot of his musing
was that, having learnt of her departure for Teignmouth, he idly betook
himself in the same direction.
But as for marriage, he would as soon have contemplated taking to wife a
barmaid. Between Miss. Lord and the young lady who dispenses refreshment
there were distinctions, doubtless, but none of the first importance.
Then arose the question, in what spirit, with what purpose, did he seek
her intimacy? The answer he simply postponed.
And postponed it very late indeed. Until the choice was no longer
between making love in idleness, and conscientiously holding aloof;
but between acting like a frank blackguard, and making the amends of an
honest man.
The girl’s fault, to be sure. He had not credited himself with this
power of fascination, and certainly not with the violence of passion
which recklessly pursues indulgence. Still, the girl’s fault; she had
behaved--well, as a half-educated girl of her class might be expected
to behave. Ignorance she could not plead; that were preposterous. Utter
subjugation by first love; that, perhaps; she affirmed it, and possibly
with truth; a flattering assumption, at all events. But, all said and
done, the issue had been of her own seeking. Why, then, accuse himself
of blackguardly conduct, if he had turned a deaf ear to her pleading?
Not one word of marriage had previously escaped his lips, nor anything
that could imply a promise.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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