"MADAME (wrote Pelski),--The pain which I felt in consequence of your
answer did not permit me to reckon with my words. I rejected the
friendship which you offered me. I regret that act. Though I cannot
explain your treatment of me, I see that you followed the voice of
your heart. I trust that that voice has not deceived you. If he whom
you have chosen loves you as much as I should, be assured of your
happiness. I reproach him not, I dare not judge a man whom you love.
As to myself, forced by stern necessity to part with the hope of
possessing you, I implore you as the highest favor not to remember my
words thrown out in a moment of pain. Permit me to return and claim
that friendship inconsiderately rejected, friendship which for me in
the future may take the place of the happiness of a lifetime."
In the evening Augustinovich brought a letter from Yosef. Lula did not
wish to open it.
"Do not do him injustice," said Augustinovich, imploringly, "for at the
present moment my old friend is perhaps--" Tears choked him, further
words stuck in his throat. "These may be his last words--I took him to
the hospital yesterday," whispered he.
Lula grew as pale as linen. It seemed for a moment that she would faint.
In vain did she strive to preserve a calm and cool face, her whole body
shook like a leaf. Come what might, she loved Yosef.
She took from Pan Adam's hand the letter, which read as follows:--
"DEAR LADY,--I was able to endure the loss of your hand, but not of
your respect. Read and judge. A dying friend left to my care a woman
whom he loved with all the power of a suffering heart. I had deprived
him of the love of this woman without wishing to do so. After his
death I became acquainted with her more intimately, and it seemed to
me that I loved her. Unfortunately I told her so. After that you know,
beloved lady, what happened. After that I hid from myself my ill-fated
attachment to you. How much I suffered! Oh, pardon me! I am a man, I
too must love, but still it was not from my lips that you learned of
that love. When at last I stood before my own conscience, when the
moment of memory came, judge yourself, how was I to act, whither was I
to go, what was I to do? The oath to a dying man, the word given to a
woman unhappy beyond expression, everything except my heart commanded
me to abdicate you. It was not through my fault that you learned of
this only yesterday. This news should have gone to you at the time
when Count Pelski appeared. Misfortune, and the frivolity of a man
ordained otherwise. This is the state of affairs! Judge, and, if you
are able, forgive. Adam says that I am ill. This is true: my thoughts
are weeping, I feel a burning in my blood, and out of pain and chaos I
see one thing clearly,--that I love! that I love thee, O angel!"
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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